I announced to my lovelies today that We would be going to church tommorrow and they all whined. Maybe it is because we are returning to our old church, the one I wanted them to be more involved in but they refused. We went every Sunday and Wednesday for almost 4 years and they always went to the adult service more often than not, and then when I started my present job we just stopped going. My kids are not very social beings, at least my two oldest aren't and I don't know if that is my fault, because I myself am not extremely outgoing. My youngest lovelie is more of a social being than any of us, I just think that she is less prone to worry about peoples judgement. A carefree type of personality who can adjust to any situation. My two oldest are protesting that they don't have anything to wear as if God himself was Ms. Jay from the show Top Model and he was going to call them out for wearing jeans and a tee. Maybe if they went to the youth group they would see every other teen in the same getup. Hmmmm......but what do I know.
The next issue with going to church for my oldest heathen, err.. I mean lovelie is that she doesn't not believe in God and so why should she have to go since she is 18. The only reason I wanted her to go was to take my grandson and to get him into the nursery there so that he can become more socialized. I would take him but really it is up to his mother how she wants to raise him, and though my hopes would be that there would be some place for spirituality in his life it isn't going to happen until she or he is ready. What gets me is for someone who does not believe in God they sure call out to him a lot when the are frustrated...... That brings me to middle lovelie who did not complain earlier too much when I told her, it was only after I refused to allow her to "strip" her hair, which much to my protests she died black a while back. Stripping the hair is not bleaching the hair Mom.....yeah it is I went to Lyles Beauty College and yes it is bleaching the hair. Another barb for me is that she goes to youth group on Wednesday nights with her boyfriend at a different church altogether. Maybe if he went to our old church she would be up and ready to dance in the aisles and praise the Lord. Do I really want to sit in church with a noncompliant sullen faced angsty teen....who would probably try to text throught the whole service! Blechhhhh!!!!!
So here I am feeling like I am forcefeeding religion on my kids and the sad part is I am. When they were younger they really had no options but to go. Now that they are older and make a lot of their own decisions do I let them stay home? Do I insist they follow my lead under false pretenses. I guess who ever is ready when I leave the house will go with me and if its only my youngest lovelie then that is how it will be.
I need this spiritual renewal. I need to be filled up so that I can pour out what is in me. I am not some Bible thumper or religious zealot. I am a normal frazzled mom of three and Glamma to 1 who finds that when I get my spiritual hunger fed I am a lot more likeable person, I like myself and I tend to make better choices plus my blood pressure goes down and decreases my wrinkle probability. So I am going to go for me without any expectation for my kids to go and then maybe just maybe one day they will follow. I am going to ask for special prayer about that in prayer circle tommorrow.
I had just finished this when my youngest came up to me and asked me, "whatcha doin?" I said, "blogging.." then she saw the title and she said, "Oh its about those two" I said, "yes those two assholes...." She confirmed my suspicions that she was going with me and we high fived...as she sat and watched me write this footnote she saw that I referred to her sissies as "assholes" and said, "Arent you going to church tommorrow?" with a giggle...well yeah I am a work in progress.