i make no excuses about who i am! love me, hate me, just read me!

Thursday, January 6, 2011


Last week I was ignored two times, no take that back three. Ignored by two different people, different not just acquaintances/family. One person was a former employer rather my former employers daughter. Just as well we saw eachother a few times weekly over a period of five years and she on occassion signed my paycheck. On two seperate occassions she saw me in the neighborhood grocery store and each time we were less than five feet away from eachother, she surely saw me from the rear and the front and I am still pretty much the same me I was five years ago. Ok maybe wider, older, ughhh maybe that should read wiser. I know I am just as guilty for not speaking up but strange thing is I was irritated that she did not, and that when I tried to make eye contact with her she quickly looked away like she was trying to avoid me. Maybe she thinks of me as inferior to her. I often had that feeling from her Mother, that I was good enough to work for her but not much of anything else, she and I occassionally had blowouts, and looking back I know she thought I was more trouble than I was worth to her. I was an underling florist assistant in her shop and would never have the responsiblities that her head and pet florist had even though their designs were seriously horrid and  pets were works of disaster. When she put her shop up for sale I told her she should sell it to me and she laughed at me. "Oh Dear" she said seriously as if I was incapable of making a go of it, never mind that I did not have the money and in her eyes never would.

Now I pass the shop and look at the for rent sign on the door and I remember all of the hardwork I put into my job there. The person that bought it ran it to the ground instead of making it successful. Maybe one day I will have my shop. I miss my flowers and my creative side that is waiting for Valentines day to make some extra money. I have the perfect garage to keep roses nice and cold, so I can sell bouquets of love on the cheap on that upcoming day. So former employers daughter ignores me twice in a three day period and wow, next time I see her I am going to say HI so she cannot ignore me however much it may make her squirm to acknowledge me. I don't want her to run up and ask me for my autograph hah maybe one day, eh she has all of my cashed checks so when I make it big she can say she knew me when.

The next situation came out of a walk through Wal-Mart where a lot of my life seems to take place....... in the fabric department my loves neice looked right at me and  two of my three daughters and proceeded to ignore us too! WTF really? I made a comment that wow going to act like you don't know who we are? And yes I could have said Hi but this is also the upteenth time that she or her sister has ignored us. They talk to my other daughter who is dark complected fine but us whiteskinned folks they ignore. Blatantly, she ignored my fairskinned daughter altogether and introduced my darkskinned lovlie as her cousin to a friend, and they were standing with eachother! So I told my darkskinned daughter and she facebooked her about it and her retort by the time she knew who we were we were gone and it works both ways.....yeah it does but it has happened way to much from them. Before I remember who they are they are walking off whispering about who we are to whoever they are with. So I guess the next time I see them I will just have to say yes we are related to you we just have better hair. Ok  maybe I won't say that but I cannot promise that I won't either.

Got me thinking how many people have I ignored and lost out on great conversation or even more? Maybe its shyness or rudeness I don't know. But I vow the next time I see someone I remember, however vague the memory of them would be I will make an effort to say "Hi arent you????" and if it isn't who I thought it was at least I tried right? So even if I have spinach in my teeth or my fly is down say "Hi" to me if you think you know me, then let me know in some subtle but unembarrassing way. Thats the least you could do!

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