BY TEACHING AN ABSTINENCE ONLY POLICY WHAT ARE WE REALLY SAYING TO OUR KIDS..CLOVIS UNIFIED NEEDS TO GET OUT OF THE DARK AGES, BUT PARENTS NEED TO TALK ABOUT SEX AT HOME!

If you are a resident of the Central Valley in California then you know all about the Clovis schools and how they are some of the best in the state. People move there because of the school district, not just for the education but because sports is also a big priority for the district. Apparently what is not a priority for the district is Sex Ed. The district is being sued by The American Academy of Pediatrics, The Gay-Straight Alliance Network, Aubree Smith, and Mica Ghimenti two parents of students. The district promotes abstinence, an "abstinence only" only policy. Which I know as a grandmother to a son of a teen mom, is not really promoting anything but sex itself. I understand what the basis of the suit is after reading about the lack of information and inaccurate information the district provides. It fails to address things like condom use, and STDS, and in some materials compares a woman who is not a virgin to a dirty shoe, and says a man cannot control himself once he is aroused...hmmmmm kinda making it ok like "legitimate rape" I wonder if this is where that dillhole of a senator went to school this is why boys grow up thinking the way they do..anyway back to the suit.
ACLU lawyers say the school fails to meet the state requirement, they are not providing accurate information and are promoting an "abstinence only til marriage policy"ABSTINENCE. Did I say I am a 46 year old GMA? Abstinence is not a word that kids hear when you are talking about sex education. Kids today are growing up at the speed of light moving way to fast. I know of kids as young as twelve that were sexually active, yeah not happy when I heard the "gossip" about that. I really struggled with telling their parents, but chose not to because I did not want to be the one who caused problems, what is sad is that when this news was shared with someone I know it was those kids putting a friend in an uncomfortable situation. Does that friend stay loyal, or run the risk of hurting people even if its the truth? Now in retrospect I should have spoken to the parents. When my own daughter came home and told me she was pregnant at 15, I was hurt and upset, because it was not like we had not discussed sex. She knew full well that she could come to me at any time to get birth control. We were and are very open about sexuality and sex and STDS and birth control. We discuss things like, birth control, unwanted pregnancy, abortion, condom use, where the clitoris is and what it is..what having a sexual relationship means.

This is my issue. I know not all parents can do that, talk to their kids about sex, but why are we leaving it up to the schools to do it and suing them if they don't. Are we going to sue when our teen daughters get pregnant and they go to that school? Sexual education should be first and foremost talked about at home. The Central Valley has maintained high rates of teen pregnancy for almost 25 years. Heck we even have special schools for teen moms. Why is abstinence a bad word? I like it, I wish it would hold true for my daughters. But, what I like and what I get are two different things...obviously not all teens today are going to be abstinent. For the percentage that are, GREAT! They should still be educated about sex. Sex should not be viewed as something that makes someone dirty, or that a guy has the right to force himself on someone because he cannot control himself. Sex is a basic need. Its on Mazlow's hierarchy, it is there because sex is needed to continue the species. Now, the psychological aspects of being sexually active that's another story. I know some adults that are not emotionally equipped to handle sex and its responsibilities!So it goes without saying but I will say it, I don't think teens are,physically, mentally or emotionally capable of handling sexual relationships. Teens today equate love with sex, usually girls. The two as we adults know have nothing to do with one another. Tell that to your 15 year old in the throws of her first relationship. My experience with boys is that they treat girls like objects, really as disposable..sad, at least most of the teen boys I know to be sexually active.
Realistically we can only arm our children with information. What they choose to do with it is an entirely different thing. Is Clovis Unified at fault here? I think in some ways they are, they are living in their own version of reality, Stepford reality.I also feel parents should start early and keep the discussion age appropriate as kids get older. I  hope that parents take this opportunity to open up the dialogue about Sex... The Birds and The Bees, The SEX Talk, That talk whatever you call it. Ask your kids a series of questions and then you decide where to go from there. Here is a great link to Planned Parenthood that you can use to start your discussion. http://www.plannedparenthood.org/parents/talking-kids-about-sex-sexuality-37962.htm teens can go to this site, it is a UK site but better and aimed at teens than any other USA site I viewed, http://www.teenissues.co.uk/LetsTalkAboutSex.html, I especially like the "Am I Ready For Sex?" Questionnaire.http://www.teenissues.co.uk/questionnaire-am-i-ready-have-sex.html  Parents you should check this site out too.

Whatever happens with this lawsuit I think that it is a great way to start discussion in your home and I hope that you take the opportunity. My child should already know the facts by the time they are 12 and should keep learning. Misinformation among teens is high. Expectations are high. Being a teen is hard enough as it is, why wouldn't you want the best for your child. Talk to your kids today...I know we are on the right path with my grandson. He is four, he just started going to day care-preschool. One day we were discussing bad words and what you can and cannot say in day care....at the dinner table, with my 3 daughters, one of whom is his mother and his mothers Fiance, his "Dad", he proceeded to tell us "Vagina isn't a bad word!" We were quiet for a brief moment that seemed like eons, and we all looked at each other and smiled. I told him "You know what Devyn? "You are right! Vagina is not a bad word" and we continued on with our dinner.These are teachable moments...and Sex Ed is something I believe begins at home.