BOOBIES BRACELET UPROAR......

So I recently read and retweeted an article about the two girls from Pennsylvania who took their school district to U.S. Court with a case of free speech. The two young women took their school to court for suspending them for wearing the infamous "I heart boobies" bracelet that has become popular amongst teens and tweens in the last 6 months. The girls were called into the principals office for a dresscode violation in October when they refused to take the bracelets off. They were suspended for what amounted to defiance and disruption. The girls mom's filed a case back in November. It was heard in December. The case will be decided in early January and if it is decided in favor of the girls, I will gladly send my daughters to school wearing them.

Really now why get your panties in a bunch over the term "boobies" and especially in school.It is the recipe for rebellion,the more you pay attention to a behavior you deem negative the more of it your kid does, I learned that in Child Development. Come on now shouldn't you be worried about the kids who call my daughter a bitch or a dike? The very kids who would take the term "boobie" and make it well, "explicit" in their little tweener minds. My fifteen year old daughter wore one all summer and I recently allowed my 11 year old daughter to buy one. I asked her why she wanted one and her answer was classic "they are cool and everyone has one," then she added without prompting from me, "they raise awareness for breast cancer." I love my smart kid. I only allowed her to wear it on weekends or after school, because her school will cut them off of the kids and though they only cost $4.00 I wanted her to understand that she should follow the rules.  Do I think that the two students from Pennsylvania were breaking the rules?

No I don't, and I wholeheartedly support their stance. I just kick myself that I didn't think of taking our school district to court! Seriously I think society is just one big contradiction. They let Victoria's Secret Fashion shows be shown on TV during the family hour, but they won't show a woman breastfeeding on the boobtube, sorry I could not resist. I mean no one complained when Pamela Anderson was bouncing her way across the beach to save someone with her inflated tube thingie. Breasts have become something they are and are not. Their primary purpose is to feed and nurture and I proudly breastfed all of my daughters, which probably accounts for their boob fascination. My daughter even breastfed my grandson for a little while. Aside from natures intentions and I do think nature intended for men to look at breasts or they would have had some like women, is the fact that they are part of what makes a woman attractive. The female form is built the way it is for a reason. I personally like being sexy on occassion showing some cleavage or maybe wearing a fitted top that covers me entirely and leaves more to the imagination. Breasts are something that signal your womanhood and I am proud of mine for hanging on this long. Way to go girls!

I have not had anyone close to me get breast cancer, but my daughters and I know someone who lost their father to breast cancer, yes men get it too. Breast cancer does not care if you are a man or woman or if you have large boobs or small ones. So why should the school care if my kid wears a bracelet that raises awareness with a term they deem disruptive. Kids wear all kinds of disrupting clothing. They are kids, they are going to test the limits of authority. What they don't realize at this age is that one day they will grow up and say man I was a dumbass look at what I had on? Then too maybe in their growing up someone they love or they themselves will be touched by breast cancer and they will pull out the bracelet and remember that they were way ahead of the rest of us when it came to being aware of how fragile life really is.

So I cannot wait for this decision to come down and yup I am going to get a bunch of these bracelets and give em to everyone in my life and when my daughters go back to school I think I might wear a shirt that says "my school district needs to worry about bullies not boobies!" I just love challenging authority...if you want to challenge authority or just support the cause go to this link to get your bracelet  http://www.keep-a-breast.org/ .

I GOT A NIFTY BADGE FROM BLOGHER.COM

OK so whenever a post of mine gets syndicated on blogher.com you will know by this nifty lil badge they sent me, to add to my syndicated blogposts. So yay some recognition for me n blogher.com. Here it is!

WTF IS IT WITH THE BOOT AND SHORT WEARING PHENOMENON?

Oh my gawwwwwd if I see another fucking girl wearing boots with shorts that are way too short for them to wear I am going to walk up to them and tell them "YOUR MOM LET YOU LEAVE HOME LIKE THAT?" I have been seeing a steady stream of high school age chickies walking around with these ridiculously short shorts and thigh high or even midi boots what the fuck kinda look are they trying to acheive? Puss in Boots excuse the pun...... seriously. It is a streetwalker kinda chic that I am seeing in these young wanna be hipsters. Blech already....aside from it being really cold out there, is the fact that I do not want to see your ass cheeks or baby cellulite pads in my face!Shit I mean I did not know how hot I was back in the day but if I did I would not have worn this get up.
Yes thanks to beautiful women like Beyonce and Mariah Carey thick thighs and curves are the it thing. But let me say that some of you should not be wearing these super short shorts that show your bootyleg, the part of your leg that meets your asscheek. That is my name for that area of the body. Trust me I am in no way jealous with my fluffy ass, if I was fit and firm I still would not wear this look. The last time I wore shorts with boots I was three and wore my cowboy boots with everything. I think and have always thought that a sexy woman, a really sexy woman does not need to show so much skin, mystery is always much hotter. I would rather see a woman with curves in a well fitting turtleneck dress and boots, that is hot. Just the outline of the hourglass figure is sexy. Now some of these little girls are too damned skinny to be wearing these oversized swashbuckling boots they have these getaway sticks for legs and look as if they are wearing ankleweights. Trudging along like they have some lead in their feet.
I poured over fashion magazines when I was a teen well into my 20s and still get wet panties looking at a Vogue in the checkout line of  the supermarket. I dreamed of being a fashion designer and  the next big thing. So I think I know a little about acheiving a look, even though most of my wardrobe is grease splattered tees and jeans that are cut off at the hem. My kids ask my opinion and I honestly tell them when they look well, for lack of a better word "stupid". If I had the dough I would be styling on the daily......trust me. On rare occassions I do get to acheive looks.
So back to this shorts and boot wearing chic, to do it right in the winter one must first wear the right shorts and the right boots and a nice pair of tights, not nylons are more appropriate. So if you have a teen daughter who likes this look please do the once over on her and let her know if she looks cute or fucking dumb before she leaves the house. I mean you wouldn't want your beautiful teen daughter mistaken for a hooker would you?
Oh and those of you who should not be wearing this look and you know who you are, cover that shit up will you. Mothers don't want to have to hide the eyes of their young children when you pass by.

Would you let your kids watch Chris Crocker on Youtube?

The other day my kids and I were talking about someone we had not seen and missed a great deal. They said oh Mom you have to watch this guy Chris Crocker on Youtube he will so remind you of the person, (we were missing). I was like whatever.... I was busy doing housework and the hundred other things that needed to be done. They let the video load and that was my first Chris Crocker experience....... I laughed at this person with these magnetic eyes, and platinum hair in front of me and noticed how beautiful this person was. This gay guy talking about why he is gay and how makeup makes him feel pretty and how life in a small southern town as a gay young person is not easy.
It was all about the laughter and the viral '"Leave Brittany Alone" video that had me hooked. On a realistic note Chris Crocker was talking about some very relevant things. Sex, unprotected sex, homophobia, self-esteem, love, bullying, AIDS things that a lot of parents aren't talking to their kids about. So I started thinking would you let your kids watch Chris Crocker? A lot of parents probably would not but reality says that your kid probably has watched him according to his viewing stats, he get gazillions of hits yearly. I asked my kids what it was that attracted them to him, my 15 year old daughter stumbled upon him through a video that was parodying his "Brittany" plea and then clicked on the original which led her to his other videos. They unanimously said it was his humor and the way in which he approached serious subjects. My daughter also said how she liked the fact that he was being himself. He was not putting on airs and showing her that being who you are is o.k. That is a powerful message to me. I cannot imagine trying to fit in today in a high school setting, and for my teens to get this message at this age is I think so mature. I have been telling them for years to be themselves, but hearing it from someone like Chris Crocker makes it easier for them to digest. As all of us parents know the old saying "Oh________ (fill in the blank) You just don't understand!" the cries of youth for the last century. Well maybe Chris Crocker understands and maybe he can reach your kid in ways that you can't.
So however you feel about him, love him, hate him, don't know who he is I can guarantee your kids do. So thanks Chris Crocker for opening the conversation up in my home I love it!

TRUST ME, IF I WAS A POLE DANCER MY KIDS WOULD STARVE!

On a quick trip to the mall today my daughters and I were on our way out and passed one of those kiosks, the kind that sell those ceramic hair straighteners, body jewelery and catchy catch phrase t-shirts. Well it was one of those t-shirts that's totally adding fuel to my firing blog tonight. Its a curvaceous image of a woman with long flowing hair, dancing.....dancing on a pole. It said, "I Support Single Moms". So WOW that seems to be the consensus of a nation. If not that one, then certainly that we single moms are raising "future strippers and future criminals and outcasts" as one Ann Coulter would have you believe anyway. She parlayed her right wing views into a much overemphasized 15 minutes of fame last year with her "beliefs". So how does it make me, a single mom feel when I read this kinda of crap or hear it? Yep it irritates me because I think I am doing one of the, if not the hardest job in the world....solo.

Let me tell you if I was out there stripping my kids would starve... so it is just better that I drive a bus and hope that my writing takes off one day in the real world and not just in my dreams.

It is those dreams that a lot of single moms give up, making hard thought sacrifices for the kids they love. In my grandparent's generation single moms were usually due to husbands who died in a war leaving behind widows, these women were treated with honor as they should have been. It does not mean that the path ahead of them was smooth.  According to the census which classifies single moms in "The Other Household Families" one era in particular spawned one social impact which created a big increase in the number of single mother households. It was in the 60's and 70's divorce was the big taboo that no one dared even talk about. Single mothers of that era were portrayed as divorcees, incapable of making their man happy at home or too busy finding the feminist side of themselves to worry about the fact that their family was falling apart. They wanted to be the Ms. not the Mrs. Popular culture has a way of taking what is going on in the world and blaming it on the destruction of the nuclear family. Whether what is going on is for the good or the bad. In the 80's and 90's media had us believing that women were so caught up in their careers and shattering those glass ceilings that only men were traditionally supposed to do, that they forgot that their clocks were ticking and chose to go the route of single parenting. As the movie "Baby Boom" which I loved by the way, would have you believe that being a single corporate climbing mom is comical and in the end your kids who are your inspiration make anything possible, even a happy ending.

In my era, media would have you believe single moms are single handedly contributing to the downfall of society as we once knew it. I have to sigh and roll my eyes at this point because it has taken me a long time to get to this stage in my life. You know the one. Where you really do not care what anyone thinks of you. Well that is where I am. But that shirt pissed me off and the comments that were made by Ann Coulter pissed me off. I don't know what her mom status is but who the heck is she to talk crap about moms like me? I am a woman who for any number of reasons is a single mom not by choice. Because I would so love to have a partner that would be solid and stable and be everything that I needed in mine and my kids life. My girl's dad is an addict and is not the best person for himself right now let alone us. I have never had another serious relationship with anyone else because I had girl's and did not want a strange man around them when they were younger. I wasn't consumed by needing a man in my life. I always assumed I could do it alone. The mountains that are placed in front of me are challenges and I always find a way to be resourceful, climb over it, go around. Or just doze my way through it. A lot of people think I am this strong, ballsy, kinda outta her mind gal that never breaks.  I do secretly break in my quiet alone times and have a good cry. I do feel pressure as a single mom to do for my kids. I feel guilty when I do for myself. Heck I broke down and bought new underwear this week four bras and 6 pretty underwear, I felt bad till I looked at my sparse worn collection of undies and the two bras that had broken under wires. I spent a whole 23 dollars on this stuff at a discount store and let me tell you it took a few days for the guilt to wear off. How crazy is that? So yes we single moms do without or sacrifice or push ourselves that much harder to be successful, because we want our children to make better choices and have better lives.

I know a lot of single moms and everyone of them has done the best that they could and not one of them is a pole dancer!  So there! So what if any of them were, how skewed is the view that a single mom who works and pays taxes and is not a burden on the welfare system is something to joke about? I think in the past it was not the norm and women were made to feel that they needed to have it all, and a man too, that a myth was born. That we do not want a "normal" family. If normal is a man that lies, or drinks or has some other addiction, or beats us up, or cheats on us, or grows tired of being with us, or only marries us because we are pregnant, or wants us to be a subservient good wife, or maybe we just grow apart, then I do not want normal. I like who I am and maybe in the future there will be time for me, but for now my focus is on my daughters and my grandson, yes I have a teen mom  for a daughter but that is another blog. She is also a single mom and you know what I have told her..... no man will ever complete you until you complete yourself, go to college get an education, be more than the sum of someones beliefs about you. Because really all that matters at the end of the day when you are putting your baby to sleep is that you know you are doing the best you can for him. So she lives with me, helps me pay the rent and she is going to start community college in the January. My kids are smart, well mannered, not into drugs and they do not get into trouble, they are all unique and wonderful people who have a lot to offer this world. My oldest wants to get her degree in Psychology, my youngest wants to be the first woman player in the NFL, and my middle has not quite decided but wants to have a happy life full of adventure.

I think that shows the world that I am not half bad at doing this singlemomming thing. "Baby Boom" did get that part right, for all the drivel that is written or said about us single moms creating an era of fatherless children, we are at our best as single moms when our kids are our inspiration. I know I would not be where I am right now without them, they keep me wanting more, they keep me in tears and in laughter, and prolonged periods of bliss and joy on the days they aren't making me want to run away and join the circus, that is. They are the reason I write, heck they are the reason that I breathe, and they are my inspiration and my happy ending.

Not Ur Typical Gma
Who Cares Where You Come From, Its Where You Are Going That Matters!



Krisann Gonzales is a single mom who drives a bus by day, and has a secret identity as blogger Not Ur Typical Gma who blogs about how she lives her REAL life and  how others perceive it in her blog "True Confessions Of A Welfare Mother" at noturtypicalgma.blogspot.com/
this post was posted on PIC Blogs via Diary of a Single Mom unfortunately it got lost in their shuffle at Christmas time and  it did not get posted when it was supposed to . They were supposed to repost it but flaked out I guess, and I think my blog was pretty damned good compared to the others yeah really good so what I am full of myself  the new moon is in my house I have every right to be according to my horoscope, so I am finally posting it on my site, this is what they had asked me to write about... hope you like it.

Sample of an EVIDENTIARY ABUSE AFFIDAVIT for victims of domestic violence

I promised someone that I would post this on my site it is a link for domestic violence victims. It is a sample of an EVIDENTIARY ABUSE AFFIDAVIT I think it is a powerful tool that should be taken seriously for anyone who is an advocate for domestic violence victims or if you yourself or someone you love are a victim of domestic violence view the sample below and or visit this link http://www.susanmurphymilano.com/

Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit by Susan Murphy Milano from the Book "Time's Up" from Courage Network on Vimeo.



Thank You Delilah!

Thanks Mom at Wal-Mart parking lot YOU made me feel NORMAL!

Yes the holiday season is officially upon us and I like 99% of the rest of the population have not even bought any gifts yet. I like 99 % of the rest of the population will go on a pilgrimage to the local Mecca uh I mean Wal-Mart. I hate going to there on any day of the year but in the days that precede Christmas I really hate it. I love shopping like most women do, just not with my kids. Things have changed from the days of them just throwing themselves on the floor having a fit because they could not have a toy or candy, at least then they were 3! You would think as they got older it would get easier and well, fun. Wrong with a capital WRONG. They can ruin any simple shopping trip with not just one but usually several embarrasing acts; be it farting in the store, or worse yet fighting in the store, or mother of all shopping sins talking back to  me, their Mom in the store......which is in public...... which therefore means I risk any physical or bodily injury that I may want to inflict on them getting picked up by a security camera.  Darn it all.

Oh I recently turned the tables on them on a stop at a local 99 cent store and they were very embarrassed. I accidentally tooted in an aisle then laughed uncontrollably and tooted several more times and I did the peepee dance. I yelled with my grandson as we walked down the aisles. We had a grand time. My 18 year old, his mom tried to hide in another aisle and my 15 and soon to be 11 year old scolded me "Man Mom do you have to be so LOUD?" That my fellow mothers is what I call IRONIC. How dare they be so upset by my behavior. They torture me every chance they get! Me embarrass them imagine the horror!

So today it was with secret joy that I sat in my darkened van texting on my phone as I waited for my daughters to come out of Wal-Mart. I volunteered to stay in the car with my grandson who had fallen asleep. I was not looking forward to pushing my way through the store for toilet paper, diapers, and chocolate. Not with the crapload of cars in the parking lot. As I am on my phone I see a well dressed Mom getting out of a big giant truck with her rugged husband and two sons close to my 15 and 11 year olds ages. She smooths her  long blonde hair and pulls down her rumpled coat, smoothing the fabric with her well manicured hands. She crosses her arm to secure her purse and like a drill sargeant says, "I am warning you, if you two embarrass me in any way once we get in the store I will pull your pants down and beat your asses!" She punctuates each word with a finger pointing that any Italian would be proud of. Now thats what I'm talking about! Joy rose up in my little Mommy heart which swelled with a knowingness and admiration for this Mom, and I grimaced like the Grinch! She marched off to take the arm of said boys father and I suspect had a great time shopping! At least I like to think that it was a carefree time and the boys behaved perfectly.

I wanted to roll my window down and say in solidarity, "YOU ROCK! THANKS FOR MAKING ME FEEL NORMAL!" Alas my lil man was asleep and I did not want to wake him. So I sat shaking my head yes and secretly feeling the Christmas Joy that she had given me. Happy Holidays and happy shopping! With or without the kids!