PROTESTING GAY MARRIAGE WITH A FAST FOOD SANDWICH WTF IS NEXT?

Wow so I have been out of the loop as I have been out of the blogosphere, no internet, no television, no phone, not as a protest but because I have been broke. No I'm not protesting anything at the moment. So when I get all plugged in what do I see but news about Chick Fil-A and a protest that uses food! How obese of America, the most overweight nation in the world. Protesting gay marriage by eating fried chicken sandwiches, really? I was reading an article that said how "rebellious" it was to eat fried food anyway and now people are having "eat-ins" to protest a cause, well what the fuck have the morbidly obese Americans who partake in fast food dining daily been protesting? Protesting cooking their own food? I am in a complete state of what the fuck is wrong with people? Their are so many American kids who do not eat properly and would love a fast food meal as a treat, but hey when you are on welfare you can't be seen buying a Happy Meal with your EBT card for your kids without getting a stare or two. But shoot just tell em you are protesting gay marriage and they will gladly charge that cash aid card. This is a joke right? Since when is using food, especially fast food as a way to protest something become so popular. In recent days McDonald's and other fast food chains have jumped on the Christianity bandwagon and stood behind Dan Cathy, president, of Chick Fil-A who in a statement said he believed in traditional marriage... traditional two parent families, and that this generation has the "audacity to redefine what constitutes marriage"...Cathy did not specifically say gay marriage, but the media took it and ran with it and what really stinks is so did Cathy and his "Christian" supporters.

 Look, Cathy is entitled to his opinions, but this all stinks of hullaballoo and tactics to get people to go buy more fast food...hello, making Cathy richer by the day. What a bunch of lemmings...followers looking to protest something. Hey here is an idea go to the source. Have you thought about going to church? Why not fill up the pews and pray for these "sinners" instead of eating fried chicken sandwiches. What else will fast food corporate schmoos do to generate millions for their shitty food that is silently killing Americans daily.
I love a good burger don't get me wrong, I eat fast food, but not as a way to protest. No I usually succumb after working 10 plus hours because I don't want to cook or rather I am too tired.

I am a Christian, a work in progress. I believe what the bible says....for the most part. I believe my God and yours, is a loving kind God who may not always like what we do, that is when we sin, but would he ever damn us to a life of eternal hell if we asked him for forgiveness, or if we truly felt in the heart he created that we were being who we were meant to be. I am not pro-gay or pro-anything other than pro-human being. I believe that whatever faults an individual has or a group perceives those individuals to have is really based in ignorance and fear. I went into a church a while back and was so turned off by their anti-gay thought (3 x in one hour) that I never returned. I believe in a union between man and woman but not for any financial or political gain. I also believe it is every persons right to love another person without fear of what others may think. Love cannot be dictated by people, politicians, or even religion. Love happens in the unlikeliest of moments to the most unlikely of people and if its not hurting anyone then leave it alone.

I wish Chick Fil-A's Dan Cathy and other fast food giants would find something else worthwhile to protest like childhood hunger...that would make me respect them more. Don't think I will be eating any fast food again this week.

Parable of the Proud Daughter: Supporting your Childs Decisions Even If Its Hard!

Sometimes as a parent it is hard to sit and watch you child's life unfold. The times when things are going well and they are successful make you proud of course and are a joy to watch. Those are automatic feelings that happen when pride swells your chest and you say "That's my kid!" to anyone who will listen. I have 3 wonderful daughters and sometimes I feel they only hear the negative things that I say. I know that's all I heard from my Dad. It took a long time to become a "better" parent, more mindful of things I say, even today I ranted and said "stupid" a few times. I am frustrated with "stuff" and I have a lot on my mind. I have been slipping in the praise department, and I know it.

I have my oldest daughter on my mind today as I request friends on Facebook to pray for her to make some hard decisions, that in part have come about because of someone else's irresponsibility's. Some were her own choices, but in the end most of the situation came from something that was not in her control. I selfishly want her to come home and live in my little house again. She has in the past and we have butted heads a lot! I think this time its different, no boyfriend drama is involved, shes an adult now and her son is going to be 4 this year. I think she knows she has to make some choices in his best interest. As much as I want them here so she can get on her feet, I know that is how much she wants to stand alone and be a grown up.

The fact is she is still my Baby, my first baby at that, and I have watched her successes and choices that have led her to a point she is at now happen. I wont call them mistakes or failures, because my grandson is not that. Getting pregnant with him at fifteen changed the way her life would go. I want her to believe that she can still attain her dreams, she has always wanted to work in the criminal justice system with at risk youth, kids like her. She has no high school diploma and tends to want everything to happen NOW! If she studies she will finish her math GED, she is a whiz at English, but math is  for her as it is for me, hard. Her time on welfare is running out, and though she is currently going to beauty school, she may have to take a leave or quit. Especially if she moves home with me. I keep telling her that she CAN finish her GED that she CAN go to college, that she CAN even join the armed services, or continue her education at a school like Fresno State. She is having a hard time believing that I think. Believing in herself. I will never stop believing in her ever, because she is MY kid, made up of the same indomitable DNA that I am. I never let anyone or anything hold me back, yet like her I am my own worst enemy when I fear failure! Sometimes letting my PRIDE get in my way and cloud my judgement. She is too big for this small town life and I know she wants to see more of the world, and I know that will one day take her away from me. For now though I want her home in our crazy little house, safe and sound like the "Prodigal Son". I told her last night that she needed to pray about her decision, and that I would be here for both she and my grandson, and I will be, whatever she decides, sometimes you need to let them fly, let them find themselves...even if it breaks your heart.
I spent a sleepless night and cried a lot. We never stop being Mama's even when they have babies of their own. Love you my Proud Daughter.

Getting back my blog groove.....

This year I want to make a comittment to blogging a lot more consistently, there have been stops and starts and spurts of inactivity. Everyday I have a topic for a blog on the tip of my brain, but life seems to somehow get in the way. But really that is just an excuse I like to make for myself....haha. I am trying to become more regimented with certain things in my life, like skincare (sunspots what the hell, they are not age spots, they are not age spots, they are not oh wtf), eating better (cutting out the soda, so freeking hard! hey kids leave me a drop of pepsi!), keeping a journal (I can hide it better than this stuff on the computer), doing things for myself (don't remember the last time I shaved my underarms, damn things scared me this morning ready to put cornrows under my pits!) and finally the hardest of all, letting someone have the last word ( I know right?) At least they will think they have it until I come home and blog about it. My boss was explaining to me to say "OK" to problem passengers and just leave it at that, which is very, very hard for me. Especially when I feel like knocking the fuck out of them! I have rules that I need to follow to do my job properly and waiting for you (lady) to put out your cigarette and get your shit in your bag is not one of them. She cut me off "Krisann" style (for those less astute readers I am Krisann!) and then proceeded to talk about me to her friend another passenger for the full 30 minute trip to Wally world. Her friend by the way has literally stalked me on my bus. Why do all the old creepy black men fall in love with me? I am thinking it is the ass, yes it is still quite nice if I say so myself. The crazy thing is the day this happened I was making a conscious effort to be polite. I know that is hard to believe but its true. I had, just the day before gotten called into the office to review a video because a client made a complaint that I was rude to the city. Funny thing is she would not have complained if I was say, Black or White. No I firmly believe she complained because she was upset that I did not speak Spanish the way she thought I should, nevermind that she lives in the United States and should speak English! Do you already see the number of great blogs that come from these two experiences!

Trust me I have something to say everyday about some topic, however minute and abstract it may be... So this year expect to follow my blogs and vlogs on topics such as me reapplying for Welfare, Underpaid "yeah right" City of Madera employees, living on one income, Bankruptcy, Homelessness, specifically homeless camps, Homosexuality, The first Bi-racial President why do they say Black? Inspiring stories of Athletes female and male alike, Religion, more on Addiction, Sexuality, and any number of things that piss me off. For those of you that follow me Thanks so much for doing so. I hope that some of what I write inspires you and makes you think in a different way. I hope I can be informative, and maybe good for a laugh when you have had a particulary shitty day, or if you are having a great day then I hope I say something to upset you! All kidding aside, wait I am serious...thanks for your support!

Two cases of The Failed Welfare Sytem, Rachelle Grimmer Tragedy and The Millionaire Welfare Recipients

I have not really been blogging much lately too busy working my real life day job as an underpaid bus driver..But the headlines I have recently read have me FUCKING PISSED OFF! and in case you did not get that the first time I MEAN FUCKING PISSED OFF AND PHYSICALLY SICK TO MY STOMACH.....You read these recent headlines and tell me how they make you feel.. "Millionaire Seattle Couple Caught Receiving Welfare Benefits Over The Past 10 Years." The next headline read "Texas Mom Shoots Self and Kids After Being Denied Food Stamps" Why is the system set up so that these things happen? It is ironic that these two situations are in the news not even a week apart? Both tragedies of a flawed system. A system that has been in place in some form since the British invaded Plymouth Rock. Welfare at its current form began to be developed during the Great Depression, and it has grown in to an uncontrollable terrible mess that it is today. Each States laws are different with regards to benefits individuals or families can receive. In my opinion it just does not work...I'm still on it....I only receive a small allotment of food stamps and I do qualify for medi-cal, if your read my blog you know that I work full time, my medical benefits are unaffordable with my one income although I do have a Vision plan and hope to add Dental this year. Things are better for me than they ever have been but I still have to rob Peter to pay Paul and watch where every penny I spend goes.
So the fact that David Silverstein  and Lyudmilla Shimonova were live the life luxe while probably talking shit about the people who really needed the welfare, jetsetted and lived in a 1.2 million dollar waterfront home....just makes me wanna lock em in a room full of people like Rachelle Grimmer the mother who shot and killed herself and injured her two children because she was denied food stamps. Honest people who really needed the help, but the system was set up to sabotage them. There are a lot of catch 22s with the welfare red tape. If you have never had to use the system you are a babe lost in the woods while the hungry wolves are salivating over you. Paperwork and everything from the proof of your income to the proof of the color of your shit is asked for...OK I am being dramatic.
I know all to well the hopelessness that Rachelle Grimmer a single mom must have felt. She had recently moved to Texas  from Ohio had moved several times within Texas, obviously searching for a place to call home. I don't know the circumstances of her situation completely but I know as a Mom who has slept in a van with kids figuring out what we were going to eat or how we were going to make it to the next day, I am sure it was overwhelming for her. She had applied for food stamps in July and had apparently missed her appointment, and to that I say taking time to apply for Welfare is a FUCKING JOKE PEOPLE ITS LIKE HAVING A JOB JUST TO DO YOUR WELFARE FORMS...I will have to take time off of work next week myself so that I do not loose my benefits which I still need and depend on greatly. Not all jobs or bosses are as understanding as mine. Rachelle Grimmer's case was held up by the fact that she did not provide enough information according to spokesperson for the Health and Human Services Commission of Texas. Funny how illegal aliens do not even have to be citizens and they get aid like its going out of style...and they don't even get turned in for being illegal? That's Texas for you and my beautiful state of California, but hey lets face it I don't know many white folks or black ones that would go work in fields right? I do think if you are on welfare and you don't have a job you should go work in the fields not some air conditioned office filing papers.
Sadly, Rachelle Grimmer and her story will be the poster story for some FUCKED UP POLITICIAN WHO SAYS THEY WILL REFORM WELFARE. Rachel Grimmer's tragic situation will for decades to come, define the Welfare System as we know it.


For some reason a crucial part of my blog keeps getting edited out and I don't know why, but I am adding this back in. In my original blog I wrote about the things you need to do as you file for welfare assistance, cash aid, food stamps or medi-cal. Each state and hence each county has different rules regarding assistance. Refer to your local office for their guidelines and rules. In general you can expect to be asked to prove residency, proof of income, proof of unemployment eligibilty you should apply before you go to apply for assistance even if you are going to get denied. You may be able to sign an affidavit that you sign under penalty of perjury in lieu of a any document that you are unable to provide immediately. Ask your worker more. Birth certificates, social securitity cards, photo ids for all adults in the case, immunization records, proof of enrollment in school, proof of financial aid if in college, rent receipts, rental agreements, mortgages, bank statements, proof of utilities and proof of vehicle registration.California allows you to own one vehicle and have less than 3000 dollars in assests. Always get the name the date, and time that you speak to anyone, ask for receipts for your documents and never leave original documents with your caseworker they can make photocopies.
You may be able to receive emergency assistance if you are pregnant, homeless, or if you are a victim of domestic violence. If you have an immediate need like assistance due to eviction, or utility shut off provide proof such as a three day notice or 48 hour notice, or if your food will run out in three days. You also qualify for emergency assistance if you are the victim of a fire or natural disaster. In most cases in the state of California you should get a determination within 3 days if you are classified as an emergency case, otherwise expect to hear about your case decision in 30-45 days. AFDC and Med-ical applications as well as CALFRESH, the states food stamp program can be applied for online in the state of California, here is the link https://www.c4yourself.com/c4yourself/  Most libraries have computers for the public if you don't own one or know someone who does.


Makes me wonder what the fuck the Silverstein -Shimonova's emergency was that they were able to bilk the welfare system by blatantly lying and getting away with it. Did Shimonova break a fucking nail and her Chiropractor husband what the fuck was his problem? Oh that's right he was her landlord and needed that 1200 dollar a month rent voucher to be able to go to what was it? FUCKING MORROCCO. Crappy part is these assholes punishment will be way to good for them. Doing time in a cush Fed Pen playing tennis and crocheting. This is a federal case and we all know Martha Stewart did OK.


If you want to see true reform become the voice... that Rachelle Grimmer did not have. I pray for her two young children who were shot by Grimmer in this tragedy and are in critical condition, my heart sinks for them tonite on the eve before I receive my 275 dollar food stamp allotment for my household of 3.


December 8 2011,
I have just read that both of Rachel Grimmers children have died, I am very sad, and my heart is heavy....

"I am sooo not like you!" YOU WANNA BET!

Some things are expected in life, some are planned for, and yet others come out of the blue. Some things you see coming and some things in life blindside you and leave you feeling numb. It seems as if today was all of those things for me and as much as I feel sad about things that happened today I also know they happen for a reason. Oldest lovelie decided to tell me she was moving back with her Aunt and that I was by her account a terrible mother, who depended on her too much. Who was never there for her when she needed me, who had essentially failed her. She is right about some of that. It is funny though how we see things when we are 19. Today being her birthday, she gave me heck 19 years ago in the delivery room and ever since then we have had a love-hate relationship. Don't get me wrong I love my daughter, I just don't like her very much right now. Perhaps because she is like me in alot of ways and not like me in a lot of ways.

So here I am after our argument forced to look at myself again, like I was last year at this time, because she moved out then too. Then she came back and caused a lot of changes to happen in my otherwise running smoothly household. So here we are and I have to say that though I will miss my grandson I will not miss the drama that has happened in the house the last 6 months. This is giving me the opportunity to realign my self and look at my goals, just as I have encouraged her to do. She has always demanded a lot of attention and unfortunately I don't have enough to go around. She is after all 19 and she chose her path when she decided not to listen to me at age 15. So here she is a teen mom with no diploma, no job, on welfare. I only hope that she realizes that she needs to make her life better, get her education and move forward in a positive way.

In saying this I am forcing myself to do the same thing working on ones self is a lifetime project. I've made mistakes and choices that she watched and learned from. She being the oldest took on a lot of responsibility at a much younger age than her two siblings. They are very different from her. I asked them today if I was a terrible parent, to which they said "No Mom!" I know that I am doing the best I can but I also know I can do better. So what is stopping me? The fear of failure? The unkown, taking a risk. Life is about all of those things and so in her leaving I am learning that it is time for me. I don't have any excuses anymore no little ones to  worry about, no reasons except the money reason that I should not finish my schooling but that is an excuse that can be fixed. So here we go the both of us into this new adventure awaiting us.

I believe in her and I know that she can do it, but she has to believe in herself. That goes for me too! Like Mother like daughter!

I HOPE WE WIN THE MEGAMILLIONS TONIGHT SO I CAN GET DA F@#* OFFA WELFARE!

I am having an issue with our local department of social services, and my present worker in particular. I did not turn in some information for my food stamp recertification in according to her a timely manner, and so she terminated my benefits which included my medical benefits. Even though I had turned in a monthly report with my income, at question is my child's bank account which has a big two dollars in it and I really am starting to feel that maybe I want to challenge that they should not include a child's bank account in the families resources. Then today I come home to find out that I need to now find a medical provider, I have been going to the same clinic for almost ten years and it is not listed as a provider. What frustration I am feeling. The welfare system is a joke and has done nothing to help me get off of the assistance that I have had. I have made every step to move forward on my own. I work full time, I make 11 dollars an hour yet I am still considered poverty level when it comes to income. I work for a worldwide company and do you know how sad it is when I cannot even afford the medical insurance they provide because it would take one of my paychecks to pay for it.

I know that I am lucky to have any option as far as health care is concerned and let me tell you even though it sucks that they practically want to know the color of my shit I am grateful to have medi-cal. What I don't like is that they treat me like I am some dumbass when I ask them a question or that they treat me as if I am a bother to them. Look if you do not know the answer of if you have never heard of it don't say it does not exist, do some research, ask a supervisor and then get back to me with the correct info.....

After dinner I googled medi-cal rules and a variety of other phrases to see what I could find to support my case. I stated to her on the phone that my daughters medi-cal was not active and she said terminated my benefits sending me a letter and my argument was why? I had provided my income for the required report month and that we were recertifying for food stamps, she said she needed to verify my daughters account. I said well with regards to terminating my medi-cal it should still stay active for thirty days, well after her taking my words out of context and me getting ready to call her a royal bitch I decided I did not have time for her and said I would bring the paperwork in. I know for a fact that in the past my medi-cal stayed active for 30 days. So after three hours of googling and coming up empty handed at the official site for California medi-cal I found a little link that helped me with info. It is really sad that when I tried to get the facts in the official site I got a message that said "this file has been damaged and cannot be read!" What the Fuck is that all about! I go to my OFFICIAL STATE SITE AND I GET SCREWED BY THEM TOO! So then I try to contact them to let them know and there is no email for the person in charge of medi-cal.....and a list of addresses that I do not even know who to send theses complaints of mine to. Aint that about a bitch!

But rest assured my readers that I will be heard, according to Edwards V. Myers I do have thirty days and I also have 20 days to send in information that I was not able to provide at the time of my meeting a mere two weeks ago. Hmmm...Mrs. Uglyass I was right, so put that in your pipe and smoke it! This worker ain't no new kid on the block either, she should be schooled and well versed in the laws of  Human Services. I guess some of us cannot help that we are stooooopiiiiid or toooo lazzzzy to find an answer for our client. Heaven forbid a client be right about something! But you know me I always have to be right, so when I send in my paperwork tomorrow I am going to enclose a lil link and a printout so she can feel free to learn the things she needs to know to do her job. I just love educating people!!!! If you have any questions about foodstamps or medi-cal or cash aid here is that handy link http://www.vpdca.org/eng/MediCal.pdf this link is actually part of a website for Vietnemese parents of disabled children, I love how they have organized all of this useful information to serve their members and I am hoping to follow their model in a page totally devoted to links and resources. If you have any please let me know send them via my email at xanngonz@gmail.comn  so that I can include them in my resource page!

Thanks for letting me vent and thanks for your loyalty as a reader of my blog!
HAPPIEST NEW YEAR WISHES AND BLESSINGS FRIENDS!

LOOK IN THE MIRROR! IS YOUR FACE THE NEXT FACE OF HOMELESSNES?

I find that my life has taken many twists and turns along the road less traveled. In each of these little side trips I have learned something valuable. Sometimes I find that I have to repeat these life lessons a few times before I actually learn from them. I was homeless on my own without my children almost 10 years ago and though that was stressful it was not as bad as being homeless with them years later. I had made a series of bad choices, living in a house shared with others is never a good idea, it never works. Especially if it is family. Then we moved into a house that we could not afford, we thought we would because my love was working and I was working and we got this bright idea to have a paper route to supplement our income! Wrong, people do not pay up. Then my love goes on a binge and loses his job. I injure my back at work and it all goes down hill from there. We stayed at the local Rescue Mission, and I talked my way into yet another apartment. In between that time we actually slept in our van at a lake. Once I called my cousin out of town for money for a motel room, it was like being at a five star hotel. We were clean and fed but we were tired of having to stay out on the weekends all day because the policy at the mission is to be gone until supper time. That was more draining than anything. We sat in the park and longed for a bed to lay on. Even if it was just a mattress without a box spring. We longed for a nice hot bath and fresh fluffy towels. We had to shower after other people at a certain hour and shower quickly. We had to attend Bible Study because it is faith based, not that faith is a bad thing, faith is important and somehow that is what you cling to. Faith may be the only thing you have in times like these that pull you through. You sit in this Bible study with others in your situation, and some who will never learn that life lesson, addicts and cons and people you think lesser than you. It is during this time that I realize I am not any better, I have belly flopped off of my pedestal, and dragged my kids down with me. It was also at this time that my teenage daughter was pregnant. What kind of Mother was I?

There were days that I would cry when no one else was around and days when I would cry when everyone was around. My love had spiraled into his demise, heavy back into the meth scene. I became tired of the life that I was living. After moving several times, more than not getting evicted, because I knew how long that took from my experience with the house. I learned to drag it out, to have a place to stay a little bit longer. The moving and transition was due to a garnishment of 25 percent on my paycheck, leaving me with sometimes bi-weekly checks as little as 325 dollars. Garnishments for the house that we thought we could afford to rent. I still have that stinking garnishment but I am going though a paralegal to file bankruptcy and soon, poof that will disappear. I just have a great landlord that lets me pay every time I get paid to lessen the burden. She knows my history and I am determined not to live that way again. I live in a quaint little house with a great yard for my grandson. I love this house! It is "our" house.

We have a large homeless population in my central California town. As a transit driver I see a lot of them, some are families or parts of families single parents mostly. Some are street people who have lost their way due to alcohol and drug use. Some are mentally unstable, nameless faces that pass through or take up permanent residence in our local park or  the benches at my workplace. There is Roger the alcoholic heroin addict, former hairdresser to the stars. Stories of Jimi Hendrix, and Stevie Nicks pepper his conversations. He talks about not always having been this way. One day he disappeared and he was gone for two weeks before he miraculously arose from the dead. The story was that he had been found dead out by the river one frigid morning. No, not our Roger he came into town freshly shaved, his blue eyes twinkling off of the light reflecting from his silvery gray hair that was brushed back neatly. We were all genuinely surprised if not happy to see him and he laughed off the "Roger is Dead" headline. Coyly saying "I was at my cousins for two weeks." The weather warms up and he is out and about.

Some of the street people get permanent addresses and get legit and some of them clean up and get sober, one such couple was Pam and Tom. Tom was an old codger who had a penchant for living on the wind and he also had a penchant for Pam a former stripper. Pam had a penchant for meth. So at the beginning of every month Tom would get his SSI and Pam would entice it from him. Tom told me once that he was so in love with Pam that it didn't matter what she did. He said the heart could not help who it loved. He had tears in his eyes as he said this. Tom and Pam were in an car accident, he suffered a concussion and he started to suffer dementia after that. He lived for a short time in a community with disabled people, but he would sneak out to see Pam. Still knowing how to get to his love when he needed to. Pam then entered a shelter for women who suffer from chronic homelessness called the Shunamite House. I believe she has lived there for a year and has gotten clean and is now Toms care provider. They ride the bus occasionally now and again running errands or going to the doctor. Tom secured housing in a Senior Living Community.

So it touched me to see a young woman riding my bus with a little wisp of a girl, and I guessed that she was homeless. She was well spoken and her child was clean and well kept, and I recognized that all too familiar dreariness on her face. We began talking and she told me she was at the shelter. I said I understood what she was going through and then I offered her some resources. This girl was already en pointe, securing homeless status for the Housing Authority transferring her social services case, all of the things rolling to get out of the situation. She told me after a few conversations that she felt a stigma and that she was someone who had a great job as a correctional officer and had education and never thought she would find herself homeless. She hated how people down talked her and made her feel less than. She talked about not wanting to settle for the first place that came along because she did not want a bad environment for her daughter. How someone made her feel that she had too high an expectation, because everyone knows if you are homeless you should not aspire to wanting more than less then. The attitude of ignorant uncaring people makes me so angry that I just want to scream in their faces, " if it was you going through this wouldn't you want to salvage any dignity you had!", really just yell at them till their faces vibrated and their hair blew back! So I empathized with her, but i didn't pity her, that is not what a person in her circumstance needs. I gave her my number but she has never called me, and I even told her where I lived so she could go to my house and be in a nice cool place when it was 106 degrees here. She has never come.I saw her a few days ago and things are getting better, her final paperwork is going through, funds for section 8 housing choice vouchers will be available in December. Section 8 programs are available in all states and are funded by the HUD department www.hud.gov/ . This allows tenants the right to choose a residence that meets strict criteria and is certified as a section 8 housing residence. It allows low income individuals and families to pay a percentage of their rent, the rest is funded by HUD. People who are successful on this program have the opportunity to buy their own homes through the DAP program which allows families to get assistance for a down payment on a home being built in an unincorporated area of the county or city. There is also the Self Help Program www.selfhelpenterprises.org/ , which allows families to use sweat equity as a down payment on their new homes also built in unincorporated areas. Often times this is the only way low income families are able to own homes. Imagine going from homeless to homeowner, and what a great feeling it is. I am just happy for now renting my house!

My new friend tells me she will come by this weekend when I have a yard sale. I told her to bring stuff she needs to get rid of and come and relax for the day. I hope she does show up. Just the other night my girls and their friend walked to the neighborhood store and it was a little later. My oldest rushed in to tell me that there was a young woman standing out in front of the store with a little girl and luggage and a container filled with toys. I immediately thought of my new friend. She said she looked lost and scared, and at the moment that she was going to approach her to see if she needed anything a woman got out of her car and offered this young mother a ride. She accepted and I can only imagine the situation she was leaving to take a ride with a compassionate stranger. I know if I would have been there I would have done the same thing. Would you have?

Homelessness in America is not going to go away anytime soon and the homeless people who are in your town don't deserve to be shunned or discarded like trash, sometimes a kind word is all that is needed. Maybe a sandwich or hot coffee or cold water. Be thankful that you are sitting in your house tonight with a nice meal even if its Hamburger Helper, and electricity, and the sounds of people near you. That you are able to take a hot bath for how ever long you want. When you put your head on your pillow in your bed think of those people who are trying to find a place to sleep. Think of me and my kids in our van, and how I still got up and went to work and they to school everyday. We were fortunate to have the assistance of Madera Unified School Ditricts liason Rachel Donatelli who gave us information about keeping my girls in their schools. Homeless students sometimes find refuge at school because it is the only stable environment they experience during their period of homelessness. This link provides information on a national level for homeless student assistance http://www.seirtec.org/nche/index.php. The McKinney Act which you can also find in the previous link provides information regarding the laws of "The No Child Left Behind Act" as it applies to homeless students. Do not pity us we are better people for having had that experience. We are stronger as individuals and as a family. Home truly is where the heart is. If you or someone you know is at risk of or are experiencing homelessness contact www.maderacap.org/ locally for emergency rent vouchers or funds for temporary shelter, or nationally www.nationalhomeless.org/ 


October 29,2010
Just wanted to add that Roger passed away he fell at the bus station and hit the back of his head and fractured his skull, he went into a coma and passed on October 25th, we all miss you Roger and know that you are in a much better place probably talking with Jimi and Janis about their hair.
In memory of Rodger Dwayne Lott. The place won't be the same without you.

SO YOU THINK PEOPLE ON WELFARE SHOULDN'T OWN CELLPHONES?

As you see by the title of my blog page, yes, yes I am a welfare mother. There is a misconception that all people on welfare are lazy, drug addicted, uneducated, dregs of society. Well I am here to tell you that misconception needs to be changed. The simple facts of the matter are that many people like me on welfare are single working moms. I make no excuses for the choices I have made, like being in love with a drug addict, or that I played a role in my own demise from a bright future. I have made a lot of irresponsible choices along the way to this somewhat happy stage of my forty-something life. Choices that led me to be on and off of welfare for the last 18 years. I have also worked or been in college for those last 18 years. I work at a job that pays me 11.00 dollars an hour and I have benefits. Benefits that I cannot afford. According to the poverty guidelines our state has set for welfare recipients I still qualify for full coverage Medi-cal and Foodstamps. I have two children that are on my welfare case. Not ten...

The thing that got me writing this blog was, well believe it or not, Facebook. I was Facebooking it on break from my job and I ran across a status that an old high school friend had posted. Something to the effect that she was irritated that someone getting their medication from the pharmacy she works at with Medi-cal benefits had a cell phone with better apps than hers. Well of course I was reading this on MY cellphone. She went on to say that people on welfare had no business owning cellphones.Well this really got me thinking  how whitebread that statement was. Whitebread is a term Iwill frequently use for people I view as conservative. So I had to post a comment back. It basically said that I was sorry she felt that way and that she must feel that way about me, because I too received assistance and worked. I went on to say that my cellphone is my only phone and that I had commented via my facebook application. Well, if that did not ignite a firestorm. I will admitt that throughout the morning I checked for any notifications regarding her status. She went on to comment later that, It was ok if I had a cellphone, OUCH, just not people who abuse the system. Like I needed her approval  to have my cellphone, hah Cricket didn't even do a credit check! During the day I kept track of comments left and the women who did respond all agreed with her. The last person to respond commented that she had just left a Von's grocery store and was in line behind a woman with a multicolored weave and a Juicy Couture track suit, with Rockstar nails and Coach shoes and a Gucci bag. This lady in front of her was complaining about the size of the cereal box she was getting according to the commentator with her "foodstamp card thingy". She went on to say that she and her husband who are school teachers work very hard and that they have a budget blah blah blah blahzooo. I imagined her voice sounding  like the Peanuts schoolteacher as I read this, "WAAAH WAAAH WAAAH WAAAH." So me, being the type who has to have the last word, commented back.

I explained in my post that what that lady was complaining about was probably the WIC program  because with Foodstamps you can get any size of cereal box! I went on to say that her multicolored weave was probably a "kitchen weave" and her namebrand clothes, shoes, and purse were all probably knockoffs found at the local flea-market, and the "Rockstar" nail polish could be found there too! I then explained that the WIC (go to this link to learn more www.fns.usda.gov/wic) or Women Infants and Childrens program were vouchers for specific healthy foods for pregnant, and lactating women and children under five. The Foodstamp program found via this link www.fns.usda.gov/snap  is funded by the USDA as is the WIC program. Then I closed with this little thought, I told her to take a look at her students in whatever school she was teaching in and try to guess which one would go without any dinner that night. A meal most of us take for granted. Maybe their parents let pride stand in the way of getting assistance, maybe they worry about the people that would smile in their faces, and then grumble behind their backs in that grocery store checkout line. People like her. I did this all from my handy dandy pre-paid Cricket cellphone. So I had the last word I think because I received no other notifications. So thanks friend, and friend's friend for inspiring my first blog! I love to inform misinformed people, think of it as community service for the assistance I get!

Right now so many people are going without, sometimes because of misinformation, sometimes because of pride. The economy being what it is I don't see less people on aid anytime soon. Working class poor, people who live paycheck to paycheck like myself, will make the best of  it. That is after all what we have learned to do, or do without.  I will feed my kids whether I pay cash or use my benefits because we know all to well what it is like to be hungry. I try to be a no nonsense kind of shopper (it helps that I am a great cook that is another blog though) but every once in a while we eat a steak bought with foodstamps. The hardships I and my children have endured, everything from hunger to homlessness, have made us who we are today. I do not live with regrets because anything I have lived and learned has been well worth it. Now I have the opportunity to write about it...... on the computer I own with internet service. Something else people on welfare should not have. OOOPS...