WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT HOW YOU WILL RUN THE COUNTRY, WHAT I REALLY CARE ABOUT IS THAT YOU DATED A BLACK WOMAN....

The political news means nothing to me. You know what means something to me. The government getting us out of our present state of the economy. Why we are sending troops to Afghanistan? How in a year, when I am cut from my medi-cal because according to my state I make to much money LOL, am I going to pay for health insurance that I cannot afford. I care about how and when I will stop worrying about going to the food bank or borrowing 20 dollars to make it through the week to put something on the table. I have yet to see a politician walk the walk. Yes we know they do a lot of talking that's for sure. It is very rare that they actually do the things they say they do. They bribe their voters into believing they will give them the sun, the moon, and the stars, if they vote for them, kind of like when you tell your kids "if you wash dishes I will think about letting you go out on Friday". They appease us, sate us with their claims so that we can move on to the next political hopeful and their scandal. The last time I voted it was the first time I voted. That was for Bill Clinton. We all know how that went. That's when I lost interest in voting.
When Obama was running I didn't care for him one way or the other. He was touted as the first Black President, "African American", (uhhhuhm...clearing my throat) isn't his mother white? So that seems he is the first Biracial President. Really Obama is not Black enough to be black. In ghetto fab real life, he would  be too white to be accepted by his black peers. How do I know? Because I have experienced racial intolerance of my own children, who are part black. Here's the kicker, (say this whispering) its mostly black people (females) who have issues with them. Must be the good hair. It has also been a common experience for a lot of my friends who have mixed race children. My girls father, experienced racial intolerance by the black community he grew up in also. I honestly feel that Obama met Oprah Winfrey's seal of approval and that is how he got elected, she had him on her show when he was a Senator and she supported his bid for presidency. So you know what happens when something gets the seal of approval from the big O herself...it goes viral, especially with the demographic of white women who watched her show, add that to the black demographic and you have a shoe in for the presidential race. Maybe you think that's a poopoo thought coming from a narrow minded wannabe blogger. That's ok I am only saying what lots of people think.
Seems to me, too much is made of race and the focus is never on the record of politicians where it should be. I was reading Keli Goff's articles about Paul Ryan. She is "The  Roots" political correspondent a "black" online magazine. That kind of illustrates my point "a black online magazine" I understand that it is demographically aimed at "Black America" but hey I hope its ok that I, good ole American Mexican read it. I mean I am in that minority that Ryan does not seem to care about as Goff states. I am that dirty word that my daughter hates to hear when I say it, "POOR". On August 13th she writes about "What we know about Paul Ryan and Blacks" http://www.theroot.com/blogs/barack-obama/four-facts-tell-us-how-paul-ryan-feels-about-black-voters discusses how Ryan feels about Obama, how he celebrates MLK day, his civil rights record, and how he feels about the poor. She comes to the conclusion in my opinion that he is not really "for" the Black American. Then yesterday she writes about the fact that he dated a black woman in college, this is a snippet and the focus of her column and I,  "So here is the million-dollar question: Is the fact that Ryan has dated interracially a noteworthy detail to consider when analyzing his politics and policies?" Read more at this link http://www.theroot.com/blogs/paul-ryan/does-paul-ryans-black-girlfriend-matter She goes onto say that to really know a person and the way they will deal with a certain community of people is to look at their past record. I agree.  Look when you want a good job done, say, you  want to go to a plumber, you are going to ask people maybe do some research and then hire the right guy for the job, after all its your hard earned money you will pay him. So leaving our future in the hands of someone based on who they dated or didn't, and what color they are, really who cares? I don't agree with  people of any color puling the race card to make a point, usually about how "the man has screwed them" and I still don't know WHO that man is? We should all judge people based on their ability to be human. I know, I know a pipe dream and I am living in lalaland but hey thats how I honestly feel. As a dear friend of mine posted on facebook today "When people don't get what they want they pull the race card" she is so right. Look, Racism with a capital R is alive and well and so is prejudice and I have been and am somewhat still guilty of it, I have issues with people of any color who do stupid shit...its old people, that race card, get onto the people card. Maybe its you, your behavior, your values, your morals, your actions, maybe its the way you spoke, or carried yourself, maybe its not everyone else.
Back to the Political Race. Do I care if Paul Ryan dated a black woman, do I care that Obama is half black? NO I don't, I don't vote, but that does not mean I don't get tired of the political campaigns that are fueled with hate and mudslinging. Maybe if I did hear about the real issues, the things I have to worry about on a day to day basis and how YOU, Joe A. REPUBLICAN, or Joan A. DEMOCRAT, are going to insure the greatness of this country how you are going to help me, POOR AS FUCK MOMMA. Maybe just maybe then I would vote.

Rap is for Blacks Only and Country is for Whites Only, tell that to Jason and Ludacris

The music we listen to helps to define who we are. I think it does. I like everything...A 3rd generation Mexican American, Cali Girl who listens to Beethoven, opera, the ladies GAGA and Antebellum, Slipknot, Enya, Harry Connick Jr, Led Zeppelin and everything else in between. In my house growing up we always had a stereo, the kind that played albums and had a needle. That thing would usually be cranked up with music on a Saturday, the eras I grew up in had some great music 60s, 70s, lets just say the last 45 years of my life I have enjoyed music from every genre there was, is. I like rap, I don't like the slap my bitch up or super explicit rap but I do like artists like Eminem, Dr. Dre, Tupac, BIGGIE, I love Nicki Minaj lately...she has broken some barriers that Lil Kim could not. I also love, absolutely love country music! I watched Hee Haw as a kid, funny right? My dad was watching it for the T and A, and I was actually watching Tammy Wynette, Loretta Lynn, Kenny Rogers, and Willie Nelson. I have seen people make derrogatory comments about country music on Facebook and I think to myself...if you cannot appreciate country music than what the hell are you doing listening to rap? My girls dad actually reintroduced me to my love of country music, a big 220 pound, bald, tattoed half Native American, half Black guy. Tell him something about the country songs he likes...he loves rap too and well he loves all kinds of music.



Doesn't Country music like Rap tell a story? Country music like rap talks about women, cars, drinkin beer and living their lives as they know it. Certainly all good music does but, I think these two genres have a lot more in common than most people think. Country has been going mainstream for years, something a lot of Country Purists do not like. There is Old School Country like Johnny Cash and Patsy Cline and then there is Country Rock like Lynnard Skynnard and Kid Rock, and now alternative like Lady Antebellum. I am not a purist so when I see someone like Jason Aldean and Ludacris together in a video I just smile because I have just proven my point. Watch these videos and tell me what  you think. They all make reference to their "Country" way of life... Why should the color of your skin dictate what music you listen to? Music is a universal language that creates emotion in all of us, when we hear certain songs it takes us back to that time when a memory was created. How much more alike can humans get?



Do you racial profile when you talk to someone on the phone?

My daughter made a comment the other day and I looked at her and said "Do you realize that is a racist comment?" The context of her comment was how someone "sounded" when they spoke. This engaged us in a conversation about how we as humans judge someone not only by their appearance but also if it is a first impression, how they sound on the phone. I have a great phone voice by the way, been answering the phone for a long time having worked in a flower shop I learned how to "sound pleasant".  People that would call for me did not know it was me they were talking to. The thing I am talking about is can you tell if someone is African American on the phone, or Mexican, or Caucasian? My daughter said yes she could and I was appalled! What a biggoted attitude. From my kid, who by the way is Mexican, African American and Native American.....blech, that made me reflect on my biggoted attitudes. Clearly she learned them from me, being the primary influence in her life.
Lets go back to my parents, both Mexican Americans, Mom not a racist bone in her body..Dad on the other hand I would describe as bold and brash and bigoted. His opinions of others were formed by his abrasive fathers attitudes about niggers and wops, lops, and spics and beaners. My Dad could best be described as a Mexican Archie Bunker...ironic I know. The utterance of the word nigger to him was commonplace, he grew up in Little Okie, a rural section of the town, (which is in Central California by the way) we live in, which was predominately Hispanic and Black, everyone knew everyone. They were cordial and polite to one another in passing, but you never invited anyone of another race to your home. This was circa 1950's.
So hearing that often in my house growing up it became no big deal. We never said it as kids, but as teens we said it and as an adult I have said it. We all have, usually it was in reference to my girls dad...my family had no kind words in describing him. My love has said it freely too, he being half African American. So why is it ok for two people of any race to call each other the racial slur that they will not allow others to refer to them as? Odd.....if you do not want to proliferate a racial epithet then don't encourage its use in any way! So when I hear my kids or their friends refer to one another as "ma nucka"----I cringe.....but I have said it too...does this make me racist? I think it makes me guilty of being ignorant on occasion.

So back to the phone voice.....while it is possible for you to be able to decide what color someone is by their voice, you may not. Some dialects and accents are very regional. I explained to my daughter how if we would have stayed living in Minnesota she would have sounded like one of its inhabitants, saying words like Bo-uht and go-uht instead of boat and goat, or phrases like, "pop and brat" or "can I come with". Or if we would have stayed in Missouri she would've had a southern drawl as thick as honey. The inflections we speak with are a result of what we have grown up around or the people we associate with. Talking Black...is that, talking Mexican is that. So to classify people as sounding like a certain race is really identifying who they identify with. Isn't it cool to talk in text now? I guess I have been guilty of it too, racially profiling someone based on the way they speak. Actually I am guilty of hating how people try to sound educated when they speak and get all the terms wrong, that is a bigger deal to me. In writing this I find that I have come to this conclusion, you sound like you...


This is the second in a series of blogposts about tolerance...

PREFACE TO THIS MONTHS BLOG TOPICS... RACISM AND BULLYING

This month I want to focus on the topic of tolerance, racial, and sexual as in identity. The fact that the mere mention of this creates a tension, or uneasiness in some people and they will automatically tune out and leave my page before reading it, well those are the people I encourage to stay! I want to talk about mine and my families experiences personally with bullying and racism, these topics are not about all light and sweetness they are about perceptions that I grew up with because of certain attitudes I was raised around. I want to warn you that this blog will have narrative that some will find upsetting and it is not my intention to offend anyone or upset them, rather to tell my story and my families. I want to talk about bullying and how prevalent it is in our society and how bullying of LGBT (lesbian,gay,bisexual,transgender) teens has been on the rise. I want to talk about how social media, and how media in general is playing a great role in teaching globally the impact of bullying. I want to talk about the pledge I took yesterday to stop bullying when I see it happening. I will provide links to organizations and would love feedback on organizations that you may be involved in that promote positivity and find solutions. I hope to encourage you to be involved to become proactive in the world you live in. Take a stand to make this world a better place.

good hair..bad hair...freckles or tan are u defined by these as a woman of color?

I am 100% Mexican American. My love is 1/2 African American and 1/2 Chippewa, Native American for those that do not know what Chippewa is. The native name is Ojibwe. We have three beautiful daughters from our sometimes tumultuous and stormy union. None of them resemble the other and this was cause for a lot of unspoken side glances and whispered gossip among family and strangers alike. When I would go to the doctors office I would inevitably get glances and doubletakes and stares when I referred to my daughters as sisters. "Oh they are sisters?" was the common question I would get. "Yes they are sisters and before you ask, yes they have the same father," I would add. I knew that was the next question on these gossipy ghetto fab chicks minds sitting in the office with their babies. I always felt the need to explain my childrens heritage and ethnic makeup, I don't know why. Just seemed that once they knew there was a legitimate reason why my caramel colored, doe eyed doll and her dresden skinned, almond eyed sister were so different, their tone and stares stopped.

I will admit that I was quite nervous when I was pregnant with my first daughter. I had nightmares that she would some how inherit the "bad" hair I had heard about from my loves Aunts. I even had dreams that she would be this ebony skinned little baby that no one would believe was mine. My love is a nice caramel color in the summer and sometimes even lighter than me, a fair skinned Mexican. His hair had wavy curls, when he had hair that is. My Father even said I ended up with a Black man to spite him, so surely he would feel the same way about my baby. Oh but when she arrived her beautiful little face and coal black "good" hair made his heart melt and everyone elses. When my second daughter arrived she was this redskinned rat faced little baby with tiny little slits for eyes and golden tips on her light reddish brown hair. In a few weeks time she turned into this pre-dresden skinned little pink beauty. When I see them next to eachother now I think how beautiful they are. Each envying things in the other, my caramel girl has curly waves and my fair skinned porcelain doll has straight. She looked like a little china doll when she was little. Then there is my mini-me she is nothing that they are and she is every bit her mama.

I had asked my love when he was little was it hard for him growing up. He said he was called "zebra" and "white boy". He felt different and was treated as such by his Aunt's and Grandma's, at least that was his perception. Other people did not believe him when he told them who his mom was, people thought he was adopted. He said he felt reverse racism even in his own home with family talking about "white folks" and equally talking about "black folks" too. He said he did not fit in with the Blacks or the Whites and settled on being a class clown to get attention and fit in. He felt angry, confused, like he should not have been born. He learned to become a chameleon, observing other people to fit in, but in his neighborhood he was rejected in many ways. He says he was not "hood" enough, he did not speak in the street slang, but rather in a more respectful manner. He says he felt the need to "come up or down to the individuals level" more for their comfort than his own. When he went to jail for the first time he had to choose who to affiliate with, he chose his Indian heritage something he was told often as a young child, "your father is Indian and that makes you Indian". Associating with them was far less drama laden than claiming White or Black. Looking back on it now he feels that he learned to fit in in any situation and that maybe at the time it was hard on him but it has served him well in life. So I knew my daughters would have the same problems somewhere down the road.

There are little comments or remarks that are made and I hate that I get defensive about them. I will never forget being in the grocery store when my oldest was about 5 and my middle was about 3. She was sitting in a cart and kept looking at this black lady who had these long beautiful braids, staring at her every turn she made. Finally the lady made this remark "Actin' like they never seen a black person before!" and she started to stomp off and I said, "Thats funny because they are black and they see their Aunts and Grandmas all the time." She looked at me and I know she was seething... but I did add, "she's just never seen extensions." This was in the 90's pre Tyra and Beyonce extensions, braids were the common look. I secretly felt good inside HAH I told her! Once my oldest entered school she had a little bully who called her "blackie" keep in mind this Mexican child was darker than my daughter. Also keep in mind that I live in a town that though there are color lines it  is not as backwoods as the next town over. We have a mix of nationalities. My little girl would come home in tears. So finally when she asked me why she was the color she was. I took a lesson from my Grandma Katie who called them chocolate and vanilla, I read a story called "Grandma Blue" to the class. Took some Neopolitan ice cream and took out a scoop of vanilla saying it was me, and then I took out the chocolate and strawberry saying this was her Dad. Then I mixed them and showed the kids the color and I asked is the ice cream still good? Of course they all said yes. I explained to them some of us might have more chocolate, or vanilla or strawberry and it shouldn't matter because we are all still the same. So that saying mean things to each other or calling someone names was just not nice. Then they all got ice cream and my daughter was the hit of the year. No more tears that year anyway.

 I check the box that says "other" on paperwork for their race/ethnicity. I guess that being who they are sometimes can be the issue of the day and that will subside as they get older.I find it sad that my oldest daughter was not black enough to hang out with the black girls and my middle daughter oddly has more black friends. Personally I think my daughter was seen as a threat to all those black girls who hated her "good hair" and her "high yellow" skin. When they tell people their ethnicity they get puzzled looks and "no you are not!" as if being Black, Mexican, and Native American has a set skin tone. My youngest fits in with everyone anywhere, but that is because she is outgoing. So I find it strange that my straighthaired girl still flatirons her hair as much as my curly locked daughter. My freckle faced girl hates her freckles she who barely tans 1/2 a shade when in the sun all day. My oldest is tan all year round. My hair is more nappy than any of theirs! Oooh and girl my "kitchen" is a mess, (that is the nape hair on your head). Good hair, bad hair, bee stung lips, or just right lips, freckles, or tan.... these things don't define you. As a good friend says "I define me!" Embrace your uniqueness.