Being an English Only Speaking American who is Mexican In Central California

I am American, I speak English, since when is it a crime to speak English in America? What? You ask, a crime? Well according the public I serve the fact that I don’t speak Spanish fluently because I appear like them and have a Mexican surname well that’s not only a crime, but a sin! I speak Spanglish and for the most part I get my point across however phonetically or grammatically incorrect it may be. I was recently reported to my Cities transportation department…I am a bus driver of public transportation in my town, for being rude and not understanding my passenger….What the fuck? Understanding you? I don’t need to understand you, you live in America, although most folks here would have you believe it’s akin to Lil Mexico, which to some degree is the truth. My town is predominately Hispanic, a good percentage of which is the illegal kind. I have nothing against someone coming here to work and do jobs Americans on welfare won’t do, but when you are here illegally and collecting welfare, getting free housing that I don’t qualify for and a host of other benefits and using my name to do it, well then, there is a problem. And if you do not speak English and yet expect me a second and third generation American to speak Spanish then I really have a problem. So apparently this customer who was already in a bad mood did not like the fact that I closed my doors on her. She made a complaint to my city and my boss showed it to me and I was like “really, I don’t give a fuck, this paper is bullshit” my exact words to him….”If I was black or white, she would have no legitimate complaint, and I know this would never have even been called in.” Because I chose to close the door and not listen to her tell me “Escuche me, usted no intiendes, no intiendes, no intiendes”  over and over again and the simple fact that SHE believed I should have understood her because I appeared MEXICAN,  I got reported. What irritates me is that she does not make any attempt to speak English to me so why should I speak Spanish to her even though I did and got her where she needed to be? If I went to China and needed to get somewhere on a bus I am pretty sure they would expect me to know where I am going, and expect me to speak their language if I needed assistance.  My point is that this was ONCE a part of Mexico, not anymore, so why we cater to Spanish speaking people is beyond me. Some local signs are solely in Spanish or Spanish is above the English translation. I even go shopping and get spoken to in Spanish and I say “Excuse me I am American I speak English” To which I usually get no response at all, but downcast eyes as if they are telling me “chinga tu madre” in their heads.

Honestly I wish I spoke more Spanish, it is a beautiful language, but I am not going to be Selena who was adored by the Mexicans by the way. I am Krisann Gonzales, American of Mexican descent and I speak  English, because my parents never spoke Spanish to me. My mother who went to Catholic School was wrapped on the hands by the nuns for speaking Spanish, and my father, who was a second generation American didn’t speak Spanish until he was in his 30’s because he realized as a self employed mechanic he could make more money. My eldest sister on the other hand grew up next to my Mothers parents and learned Spanish at a young age, my brother and I only ever knew cusswords. Doing this job I have learned more and can assist someone pretty well, but it’s not perfect. The difference between me and my complaining client is that I at least am making an honest attempt to speak to her and if she cannot appreciate that, then too bad. I feel bad for her, because she will never gain the benefits of trying to speak English, communicating primarily through her child whom she will use as a translator who will speak both English and Spanish perfectly, how wonderful Is that?

What I love is watching someone come into our office and say perfectly “Do you speak Spanish” and if someone says "no"  they speak in English and with no problem. Maybe their hesitation or reluctance is because they will be misunderstood or look silly, but make the effort people. You will gain so much more. I don’t get the tenses correctly in Spanish but I make the effort and I think that should be appreciated. So what if I say something wrong or incorrectly, I usually preface it with “Como se dice ummm?”  whatever word in English I cannot say in Spanish. That usually emits a correct pronunciation from a more helpful passenger and also assistance if I cannot communicate effectively. To which I am very grateful.  I try to learn more and more every day from my coworker Irma who teaches me Spanish phrases and speaks to me in Spanish, I help her learn more English. Now if only we could get her to say the street FALCON correctly!

Do you racial profile when you talk to someone on the phone?

My daughter made a comment the other day and I looked at her and said "Do you realize that is a racist comment?" The context of her comment was how someone "sounded" when they spoke. This engaged us in a conversation about how we as humans judge someone not only by their appearance but also if it is a first impression, how they sound on the phone. I have a great phone voice by the way, been answering the phone for a long time having worked in a flower shop I learned how to "sound pleasant".  People that would call for me did not know it was me they were talking to. The thing I am talking about is can you tell if someone is African American on the phone, or Mexican, or Caucasian? My daughter said yes she could and I was appalled! What a biggoted attitude. From my kid, who by the way is Mexican, African American and Native American.....blech, that made me reflect on my biggoted attitudes. Clearly she learned them from me, being the primary influence in her life.
Lets go back to my parents, both Mexican Americans, Mom not a racist bone in her body..Dad on the other hand I would describe as bold and brash and bigoted. His opinions of others were formed by his abrasive fathers attitudes about niggers and wops, lops, and spics and beaners. My Dad could best be described as a Mexican Archie Bunker...ironic I know. The utterance of the word nigger to him was commonplace, he grew up in Little Okie, a rural section of the town, (which is in Central California by the way) we live in, which was predominately Hispanic and Black, everyone knew everyone. They were cordial and polite to one another in passing, but you never invited anyone of another race to your home. This was circa 1950's.
So hearing that often in my house growing up it became no big deal. We never said it as kids, but as teens we said it and as an adult I have said it. We all have, usually it was in reference to my girls dad...my family had no kind words in describing him. My love has said it freely too, he being half African American. So why is it ok for two people of any race to call each other the racial slur that they will not allow others to refer to them as? Odd.....if you do not want to proliferate a racial epithet then don't encourage its use in any way! So when I hear my kids or their friends refer to one another as "ma nucka"----I cringe.....but I have said it too...does this make me racist? I think it makes me guilty of being ignorant on occasion.

So back to the phone voice.....while it is possible for you to be able to decide what color someone is by their voice, you may not. Some dialects and accents are very regional. I explained to my daughter how if we would have stayed living in Minnesota she would have sounded like one of its inhabitants, saying words like Bo-uht and go-uht instead of boat and goat, or phrases like, "pop and brat" or "can I come with". Or if we would have stayed in Missouri she would've had a southern drawl as thick as honey. The inflections we speak with are a result of what we have grown up around or the people we associate with. Talking Black...is that, talking Mexican is that. So to classify people as sounding like a certain race is really identifying who they identify with. Isn't it cool to talk in text now? I guess I have been guilty of it too, racially profiling someone based on the way they speak. Actually I am guilty of hating how people try to sound educated when they speak and get all the terms wrong, that is a bigger deal to me. In writing this I find that I have come to this conclusion, you sound like you...


This is the second in a series of blogposts about tolerance...

DO YOU SUPPORT THE "AMERICAN DREAM"? JUST NOT FOR ILLEGAL MEXICAN IMMIGRANTS?

A headline in my local newspaper spurred this post.... "Fresno State University Student Body President Reveals He Is An Illegal Immigrant", yes it is true Mexicans go to college and do exceedingly well.  Pedro Ramirez, 23 graduated from his highschool as a Valedictorian and went on to FSU. He is pursuing Poly Sci and Agriculture as his dual majors. And apparently he did all of this despite the fact that he is an illegal alien.....like being from Mexico means you only come to the US to work in the fields, or in a Mexican restaurant. I have mixed emotions about this situation, I am Mexican American. My Grandfather came here from the same town Pedros family came from, Jalisco Mexico. My grandfather came to the US and did so legally, by coming here to work and then sending for his wife and family later. He wanted to make a better life for his 10 children, and he did. He was a contractor for the Santa Fe Railroad and did fieldwork, all of the children except my Mother who was the youngest did this backbreaking work. Sons served in WWII and Korea, they were proud to be Americans. My Uncle Manuel died in the War. My Grandfather owned property and did well for being an uneducated man. All of my aunts and uncles spoke perfect English but my grandparents never learned it fluently. They were all successful productive members of society who went on to have their families. They were never on welfare,  or received assistance.

I am feeling torn because while I applaud the efforts of Pedro to make a good and positive impact on the world it leaves me feeling, like maybe my daughter who is going to Community College may be passed over for something she, as a legal citizen is entitled to. In the state of California there is a law that allows illegal immigrants to receive aid for college. Pedro claims he did not know that he was an illegal alien until he began to apply for college. I can see that as viable. But when he did find out he continued to keep it a secret well into his college career until this week when an email was leaked regarding his status.

Do I blame illegal aliens for the state of the state in California, in debt up to our necks and no liferaft in sight? No I blame a bunk immigration system and the great governors of this fair state. You know the thing is I consider myself an American, not a Mexican American but just American. So many people that I run into in my daily life, Mexicans from Mexico inparticular think I should speak perfect Spanish because my last name is Gonzales. I speak "spanglish" enough to get by, what they don't know is that I was not taught Spanish because my mother who went to Catholic School was punished with a wrap of the ruler on the hands if she spoke Spanish. It is irritating that they complain about me when I am driving them on the bus, because they think I don't understand what they are saying but I do and it is only when I talk to them in my "spanglish" that they smile and call me Mija.....they don't like my country music, and they don't like that I don't wait for them if they are running for the bus, look I don't wait for anyone if they are not at their stop. Hey I rode the bus for 2 or 3 years and I got left plenty. My perception is that they feel that I think I am better than them or just don't get any of the struggles they have had. Funny human struggles are all the same, does not matter what your color is.

I guess  some of my bias comes from being the victim of identity theft, 15 years ago the IRS came after me for 30,000 dollars in back taxes, because an illegal alien had bought my stolen birth certificate and Social Security card. This was pre-internet and it took me one year to prove to the IRS that this Krisann Gonzales was 9 months pregnant and in college, not working at some cannery in Georgia. I had actual pictures of the alleged Krisann Gonzales and signatures of "her" name, which were nothing like mine. So how is it that HR reps of these companies in question went ahead and accepted her proof of who she was without question? Sad but true big corporations and small alike do not care.

I am all for the American Dream, believe me. What I do not agree with is catering to a set group of people. If I went to China they would expect me to speak Chinese right? So why are forms in Spanish and the city signs (locally) have Spanish as the bolder print and English in smaller print. Why are kids in school learning in Spanish, that is why they are failing state mandated tests, these tests are made for English speakers! Sad but true my child who is part Mexican was being taught in Spanish  when she first enterred kindergarten and did not know what the heck was going on, even sadder my friends daughter whose last name is Martin was put in a bilingual class and she has blonde hair and blue eyes... So are we catering to a certain group of people? I think so. I hate to sound racist or biggoted because I feel so strongly that if you come to America you should be made to follow the rules that everyone else who is a citizen has to follow. I have had many heated discussions with friends and family and my conclusion is always the same. Making a better life for yourself is an inherent right every man, woman, and child should be afforded. That is after all why our forefathers founded this great country. So what about the illegal aliens who are serving our country, should they be afforded the same benefits and rights as a citizen? So many stickey wickets here. This conversation will go on until the end of time. I will agree that this same group of people who a lot of people love to complain about actually help with the growth of the economy, they work  and spend their money,especially locally. I guess the situation is as multifaceted as Pedro is. He obviously want to make a better way for himself, he is a supporter of the DREAM act go to this link to learn more http://www.dreamactivist.org/ this act will create the journey to citizenship for undocumented students and those who serve our country proudly. I can see by what I have read about him that he wants positive change to come from his story. I can also see that he will probably succeed and go on to a great role in politics or advocacy for people in general. I guess it is just the principal of legally being here that gets me. Thanks Grandparents for following your dreams to California.