THE POLITICS OF BEING A GIRL IN LITTLE LEAGUE BASEBALL

This years Little League season has come and gone, and for my daughter it was not the season that was promised to her. I will say some of it is from her own behavior, bad attitude, letting her emotions show and get to her. The other part is what has been in existence since the first caveman bore a son and vowed his son would be best hunter, the alpha male, competition has never been the same since. Especially where grown men are concerned. You know the type, the kind who though they are told not to live through their male child do it anyway.
 Ever since our first foray into Little league three years ago it has been more about vicariously living through the chosen son or as it were grandson, and so to a lowly female child whose father was not present to be a positive force in her life, my daughter was often times overlooked and underestimated. It was an old softball coach who picked her up her first year in Little League, a coach set in his ways and unwilling to see past his grandson. It was an ok year. Her second year she was picked up by an old football coach and this seemed like it was going to be a great year, he used her as pitcher and they won their first few games that she played until she moved up to majors where she was just a player filling a void left on the team. A team that came in last place too many times to count. The coach when asking me about her ability heard nothing I said and told me he had ever only seen two girls in his lifetime that were "good" enough to play baseball with the boys. Still he was stuck with her and it became another instance of the chosen grandson and son to be the star...and he was good, I will admit that much. Yet she still did not get the opportunity boys younger than her had. On one of the rare occasions that she was on the mound she struck out one of the leagues best hitters, no one can take that from her. After that it was a loosing season and more time on the bench than play. She wanted off the team and wanted to go back in the draft. When we were told her old triple A coach was possibly taking the team over so we waited. When he did take over this beleaguered loosing team, she was hopeful as he told her he would give her the opportunity to play more, to pitch more, and to shine. When he asked what position she played last season the most the token star player said "bench". With all of the promises that were made to both players and parents it really just was another repeat of last year.What we were not prepared for was that he took this team so he would have an opportunity to take his son off of another team and give him more playing time on this one essentially building an opportunity for him to build his sons stats.
 At first it seemed as if she would get a fair shake until he started playing his son more often at pitcher. As she sat and watched lesser players get more opportunities it became evident to her and I that it was the same ole, same ole. Her attitude began to show, her frustration and anger lashed out in disrespect. When he called me about her I told him to bench her, she deserved it. Then I saw a side of this coach I had never seen before, he made a rude comment when she struck out, yet high fived the star player when he did the same..not wanting to bruise his fragile ego. He allowed this kid after missing a week of practice to come in and pitch in a must win game that we lost anyway. I confronted him about his comments and the fact that he favored players after he said he wouldn't, but if you look at the stats you will see his child led at bats with 46 while a player who didn't have the big ability others had batted 19 times this season. So much for the impartiality we were promised at the beginning of the season...something he cannot deny since its all in black and white on the stats. Since that confrontation our relationship, and his with my child has never been the same and never will be.  I personally feel that Dads who coach should not be allowed to coach their sons or daughters, which would lessen the nepotism that runs rampant on Little League fields everywhere.
To my daughters credit, individual credit I might add, she became the first female to hit two out of the park home runs ever in Madera Little League history. Those were and are wonderful accomplishments and we were happy with that until he benched her at her last ever Little League game in the second inning because she failed to get a ball and apparently gave him attitude, yet his child and others on the team who were unsportsmanlike to another team mate got to play and finish out their season. My daughter sat crying on the bench. She was hoping for another home run.
I sat disgusted and did not watch the last of the game and when we left I told her that it didn't matter, this year was like every other, what man wants their son to be out shined by a girl I told her?
I came home and wrote to one of the people on the board who was one of my daughters  biggest supporters and thanked them. They too were bewildered by what happened this year, especially since the teams standings really did not improve. I know its all about politics and good ole boy standards where girls are concerned in the game of baseball. Little League ball is way worse than high school, college and for that matter, professional ball in my opinion. Run by overzealous males whose beer guts have them unable to play anymore.What I do know, is, this has been a character builder for my daughter and in the future she will hopefully learn to control her emotions...know that the game is the game, and build on those principles she has learned from all of the great coaches who will and have crossed her path and even learn from the not so good coaches who will also unfortunately come life as she continues to play the sports she loves, baseball and tackle football.

Makenzee kissing her first home run ball

 Her dad getting a rare glimpse of his daughter playing at her best

 She is a great ballplayer and a great athlete with tons of potential, we talked about her opportunities in jr. high and beyond. How now, it may be a different playing field....time will tell but one things for sure this girl of mine will always be my shining star.

Unlikely Heroes; Where Would Jimmy Graham, Michael Oher, and Dorial Green-Beckham be today if no one believed in them?

My beloved Saints lost their game last week taking them out of contention for the Super Bowl, but I still get to see the Pro Bowl for my final post-season glimpse of my favorite Saint, Jimmy Graham. I was never big into following football until my daughter Makenzee started playing youth football. When the Saints went to the Superbowl we watched and cheered them along because they were the underdog story, led by Drew Brees their quarterback who had come back from injury and had been overlooked and let go by the San Diego Chargers, himself an underdog story. That year is when my daughter began to play football and ever since then I have been a screaming fanatic not only for her but the Saints as well.
I didn't want her to play but then remembered my own dreams as a young girl who could throw and kick a football better than most boys. I remember my dad telling me "no" when I asked to play football. Her first year playing she was a defensive standout and was a leader on a team of boys, they went undefeated and won their Championship, her second year was mediocre and a let down for her. This, her last year in youth league was a repeat of the first, being one of the team leaders and defensive standouts again and playing a perfect season and Championship win.

 It was never easy financially for us to pay the 50 and now 75 dollar fee, and on top of that buy cleats or shoes and in her case sporting bras and compression shorts. It was a pretty penny, but if I had to sacrifice something for her I would, and I would make enchiladas and sell them for her to be able to play her favorite sports. I beam with pride at my girl. I am soo proud of her and often imagine where this ability will take her. These wins are something she will remember forever. Making all those enchiladas was worth it!

What about the kids that never get the opportunity to play a sport? Maybe in school their grades aren't good enough, or financially their parents cannot afford it. Do you know that statistically childrens grades improve if they are involved in an extra curricular activity like sports. As I drive my bus through my little town I see more kids playing ball in the street on the Eastside than the Westside. Thats because their parents can afford to put them in youth football or Little League on the Westside. I wonder how many hidden talents are out there who will get lost to the thug life, or end up pregnant or worse. Sports should be made available to everyone. I do commend my cities John Wells Youth Center for giving kids the opportunity to box or learn dance for free that is a step in the right direction. Their are some great people in my community, friends of mine and friends of theirs that jump at the opportunity to help out a young athlete in need. A friends son needed wrestling shoes and she posted that he would do yard work or whatever he could to earn money for them on Facebook. I had some old wrestling shoes but they were too small. So I made a call to my friend Johnny a frequent buyer of my enchiladas. I had recently seen his brother Danny who saw me in the grocery store and and had told me if my daughter ever need sponsorship to let him know. So a couple of days later my friends son had wrestling shoes. Things like that are so simple to make happen. My daughter and I have talked about creating a foundation to help kids who otherwise may not be able to afford sports, by getting sponsors and even collecting old sports gear to distribute. We hope to start it soon.

So back to Jimmy Graham, when I watched him play this year he caught my eye with his remarkable talent. When I learned his story he became the hero in my house. How do you play only 6 months of college ball as a graduate student to become the a tight end with 99 receptions and a record breaking 1310 receiving yards in your second NFL season? By having someone believe in you and making you believe in yourself. Watch Jimmy Grahams story below...

Those opportunities are all around us. Look at Michael Oher of the Ravens and his story "The Blindside", he is also a big hero in our house, look at Parades All American Dorial Green-Beckham whose story is similar to Ohers. You don't know his name, but you will. He broke a 15 year old national record by having a highschool career recieving record of 6,447 yards. Green-Beckham and his brother like Oher were adopted by a family, after having been in foster care and living sometimes in motels and vans. It touches my heart because my daughters too, had to live in motels, a mission, and we even slept in our van a few times. These are people who are survivors no matter what. Those are quite honestly the people I would want on my team if I was a coach!
So the next time you see a kid playing ball in the street look at their face and remember it, they may be the next NFL or MLB star.

Some Little Leagues offer fee waivers, so that no child misses the opportunity to play check with your local Little League. http://www.littleleague.org/Little_League_Online.htm

DON'T COUNT THIS GIRL OUT.......

At first glance my daughter Mak would appear to look like a boy to you. Long hair with a backwards baseball cap, size 10.5 men’s shoe and a large presence. In fact my daughter is what the AMA classifies as obese. She is 5’5” and 185 pounds at 11 years old. To look at her you would think she sits on the couch eating junk food and playing video games all day. What you don’t see when you look at her is an athlete with great skill, that is until you see her play any of her chosen sports. Her athletic ability was something I noticed when she was in kindergarten one day playing baseball in between the orchard and vineyard we lived in. I noticed that she could throw better than her older sister who we were practicing with, and that she could hit the ball pretty well too. It wasn’t until she was in second grade and brought home a flier for Bobby Sox that I thought, what the heck. She was placed on a team and was tried out at several positions and eventually piped up that she wanted to play catcher, so here we go she finds her niche. She was a natural with her large powerful thighs and ability to throw to second base from home, not any easy feat. So I was happy to see her active and enjoying herself, she was bigger than her sisters at that age and I worried her weight would be an issue for her. She played again the next year and then onto travel softball. I was so invested in her because it was then that she told me, “Mom! I am going to Fresno State on a softball scholarship!” This was after she had seen the team in action. I spent 250 dollars on catcher’s equipment that I bought large enough for her to grow into at least into high school, I thought. Wrong, here it is 4 years later and that gear is not going to make it to Jr. high.

My softball playing girl came up to me and asked me two years ago if she could play tackle football, to which I voiced some concern that it might not be for her. That is when I heard my Dads voice in my head telling me “no” when I asked to play football and I decided to go and take her to signups. Other girls had come before her to my surprise and we were excited at the prospects. She was first pick for her team after coaches saw her in the drafts they held over a weekend. She played offensive and defensive lineman, though in her heart she was hoping for quarterback. All they saw was her size and her standout ability to be quick and agile and mow ‘em down. She was one of the key reasons they went undefeated to the championship game. Everyone cheered her name in the stands but none louder than me. She played again this year and though her team was mediocre she still was a standout. She has said that she wants to play in high school and I have no doubt that she will. She plays her last season of community football this fall and then it is onto Jr. high. Most girls want to lose weight for vanity reasons. Not mine. She has said she wants to trim down and get noticed for her throwing ability so she can be a quarterback.
 
 

So here it is baseball season and yes I said baseball, she has forgone softball to play with the boys. She is in her second year of Little League, because she has not come up in the ranks here she has to prove herself, so for now she plays on a triple A team, not a Majors team, but my bet is it won’t be long before they know who she is. Her first year her old travel team coach picked her up for American Little League and it was not a memorable season, he tried her at pitcher, but she was too wild and his coaching style did not bring out the best in her. He was more worried about getting his grandson playing time anyway. So this year her old football coach picked her up as we moved and she ended up in National Little League. He saw her at the last tryout and picked her when he saw that she threw as fast as a grown man. He knew he had a future pitching star in his midst. We have several good pitchers which is great we keep them guessing, but my girl is by far the fastest pitcher. At one of the first practices she threw the ball so hard it hit one of the coaches feet, the next day he told us she split his toenail and it fell off. She can be cocky and full of herself and practice after practice she began to have attitude. One of our assistant coaches who is used to coaching kids from the Chicago projects and not Central Cali Valley farmland kids has a gruff exterior. Immediately he irritated her by singling her out. After all, her coach made her team leader and she was the player to look up to. She was put first in the line to lead her teammates in a run. She came up to me and said, “I know why he put me first, it is because of my size.” I said, “Then run too fast for the boys to keep up.” He got to her so much one day when she was sick I told her let’s leave after being there for five minutes. I spoke with the head coach and told him I did not like the assistant coaches tactics. So he said things would change and they did but then she started having attitude. She hated it and started complaining that she was bored because they were working on fundamentals, and after one day when she was particularly embarrassing I went off on her.

I had this loud tirade that started as we left practice in our van, and ended 10 minutes later in our front yard. I told her that her behavior was unacceptable, that she had embarrassed me. That she was not a know it all when it came to baseball. She said she did not want to pitch, the position they were grooming her for, she didn’t want to play. I yelled about how much money I had spent on her, and the enchilada dinners and fundraisers I had so she could participate in these sports. The time I had given up, and I added how I did not do any of this for her two older sisters. She started to whine and cry. “Is it too much pressure, what is it?”  I asked. She just shrugged. I told her that people were always going to judge her by her size, that they were going to have expectations of her. I told her I was not going to be there to intervene for every coach she did not like. I told her what a God given talent she had. I told her that she could be the fastest pitcher out there but if she didn’t want it someone else who was less talented would work harder to get it. I finished my tirade by saying, “If you quit this and let your team mates down don’t ever ask me for anything again! Sit here and think long and hard about what you want and let me know!”

Was I wrong? Probably, well yes, I was guilty of bad parent behavior, but I was right. The next day after apologizing to the assistant coach and getting one on one pitching practice she threw fast and accurate pitches. I will give him credit for helping her to develop her technical skills; she is a better hitter and definitely a better pitcher!

                                                       

                                                     

So here we are only two games in due to the rain, and my baseball playing girl has pitched a total of 4 of the 10 innings we have played thus far. We play five per game, in the first game she only allowed one hit which she threw out at first and then she allowed a few walks but struck everyone else out no runs were scored this day. Our last game she pitched the last inning and after beaning a poor kid she struck out the next three players and we won 5 to 1. We left the game in good spirits with grins on our faces and shared our high fives. Today I spoke to one of the parents whose son is on our team and she told me that after our game she stayed to watch the next one and people in the stands asked, “Who is that guy? Who is he? We need to test him for steroids because he throws so fast?”  To which she smiled and said, “That’s no boy, that’s a girl and she is on my sons team!” I relished the story second hand. When I got home I told her “You are already becoming a legend!” Needless to say she is raring to go this weekend. So don’t ever count this girl out when she plays with the boys!