DON'T COUNT THIS GIRL OUT.......

At first glance my daughter Mak would appear to look like a boy to you. Long hair with a backwards baseball cap, size 10.5 men’s shoe and a large presence. In fact my daughter is what the AMA classifies as obese. She is 5’5” and 185 pounds at 11 years old. To look at her you would think she sits on the couch eating junk food and playing video games all day. What you don’t see when you look at her is an athlete with great skill, that is until you see her play any of her chosen sports. Her athletic ability was something I noticed when she was in kindergarten one day playing baseball in between the orchard and vineyard we lived in. I noticed that she could throw better than her older sister who we were practicing with, and that she could hit the ball pretty well too. It wasn’t until she was in second grade and brought home a flier for Bobby Sox that I thought, what the heck. She was placed on a team and was tried out at several positions and eventually piped up that she wanted to play catcher, so here we go she finds her niche. She was a natural with her large powerful thighs and ability to throw to second base from home, not any easy feat. So I was happy to see her active and enjoying herself, she was bigger than her sisters at that age and I worried her weight would be an issue for her. She played again the next year and then onto travel softball. I was so invested in her because it was then that she told me, “Mom! I am going to Fresno State on a softball scholarship!” This was after she had seen the team in action. I spent 250 dollars on catcher’s equipment that I bought large enough for her to grow into at least into high school, I thought. Wrong, here it is 4 years later and that gear is not going to make it to Jr. high.

My softball playing girl came up to me and asked me two years ago if she could play tackle football, to which I voiced some concern that it might not be for her. That is when I heard my Dads voice in my head telling me “no” when I asked to play football and I decided to go and take her to signups. Other girls had come before her to my surprise and we were excited at the prospects. She was first pick for her team after coaches saw her in the drafts they held over a weekend. She played offensive and defensive lineman, though in her heart she was hoping for quarterback. All they saw was her size and her standout ability to be quick and agile and mow ‘em down. She was one of the key reasons they went undefeated to the championship game. Everyone cheered her name in the stands but none louder than me. She played again this year and though her team was mediocre she still was a standout. She has said that she wants to play in high school and I have no doubt that she will. She plays her last season of community football this fall and then it is onto Jr. high. Most girls want to lose weight for vanity reasons. Not mine. She has said she wants to trim down and get noticed for her throwing ability so she can be a quarterback.
 
 

So here it is baseball season and yes I said baseball, she has forgone softball to play with the boys. She is in her second year of Little League, because she has not come up in the ranks here she has to prove herself, so for now she plays on a triple A team, not a Majors team, but my bet is it won’t be long before they know who she is. Her first year her old travel team coach picked her up for American Little League and it was not a memorable season, he tried her at pitcher, but she was too wild and his coaching style did not bring out the best in her. He was more worried about getting his grandson playing time anyway. So this year her old football coach picked her up as we moved and she ended up in National Little League. He saw her at the last tryout and picked her when he saw that she threw as fast as a grown man. He knew he had a future pitching star in his midst. We have several good pitchers which is great we keep them guessing, but my girl is by far the fastest pitcher. At one of the first practices she threw the ball so hard it hit one of the coaches feet, the next day he told us she split his toenail and it fell off. She can be cocky and full of herself and practice after practice she began to have attitude. One of our assistant coaches who is used to coaching kids from the Chicago projects and not Central Cali Valley farmland kids has a gruff exterior. Immediately he irritated her by singling her out. After all, her coach made her team leader and she was the player to look up to. She was put first in the line to lead her teammates in a run. She came up to me and said, “I know why he put me first, it is because of my size.” I said, “Then run too fast for the boys to keep up.” He got to her so much one day when she was sick I told her let’s leave after being there for five minutes. I spoke with the head coach and told him I did not like the assistant coaches tactics. So he said things would change and they did but then she started having attitude. She hated it and started complaining that she was bored because they were working on fundamentals, and after one day when she was particularly embarrassing I went off on her.

I had this loud tirade that started as we left practice in our van, and ended 10 minutes later in our front yard. I told her that her behavior was unacceptable, that she had embarrassed me. That she was not a know it all when it came to baseball. She said she did not want to pitch, the position they were grooming her for, she didn’t want to play. I yelled about how much money I had spent on her, and the enchilada dinners and fundraisers I had so she could participate in these sports. The time I had given up, and I added how I did not do any of this for her two older sisters. She started to whine and cry. “Is it too much pressure, what is it?”  I asked. She just shrugged. I told her that people were always going to judge her by her size, that they were going to have expectations of her. I told her I was not going to be there to intervene for every coach she did not like. I told her what a God given talent she had. I told her that she could be the fastest pitcher out there but if she didn’t want it someone else who was less talented would work harder to get it. I finished my tirade by saying, “If you quit this and let your team mates down don’t ever ask me for anything again! Sit here and think long and hard about what you want and let me know!”

Was I wrong? Probably, well yes, I was guilty of bad parent behavior, but I was right. The next day after apologizing to the assistant coach and getting one on one pitching practice she threw fast and accurate pitches. I will give him credit for helping her to develop her technical skills; she is a better hitter and definitely a better pitcher!

                                                       

                                                     

So here we are only two games in due to the rain, and my baseball playing girl has pitched a total of 4 of the 10 innings we have played thus far. We play five per game, in the first game she only allowed one hit which she threw out at first and then she allowed a few walks but struck everyone else out no runs were scored this day. Our last game she pitched the last inning and after beaning a poor kid she struck out the next three players and we won 5 to 1. We left the game in good spirits with grins on our faces and shared our high fives. Today I spoke to one of the parents whose son is on our team and she told me that after our game she stayed to watch the next one and people in the stands asked, “Who is that guy? Who is he? We need to test him for steroids because he throws so fast?”  To which she smiled and said, “That’s no boy, that’s a girl and she is on my sons team!” I relished the story second hand. When I got home I told her “You are already becoming a legend!” Needless to say she is raring to go this weekend. So don’t ever count this girl out when she plays with the boys!

good morning football fans....is that a girl in that helmet?

It is a beautiful California classic day outside and I am gearing up to go to my daughters football game. I cannot wait to be out there cheering my girl on. This is my daughters 2nd year playing tackle football. Thats right tackle.... no she is not on some girls league. She plays with the boys. She plays in a local youth league ages 6 through 12. I will say that I think this is the best thing I could have ever allowed her to do. Not just because she ROCKS on the field, but because it has taught her important life lessons that she otherwise might not have learned. When she asked me I will admit I was concerned, but when she played it was just a thing of beauty to watch. Last year her peewee team went undefeated and won every game that they played. She learned the importance of teamwork, and how to be proud of her accomplishments. This year she is in the 5th and 6th grade division called the pups, and they have not won all of their games. This has taught her that you are not always going to be a winner and that loosing gracefully is something great players do. She has walked around on the sidelines mopey and irritated when something has not gone her way and man that really annoys me as a parent. I say that because I know my daughter has leadership qualities that you do not find in a lot of other kids at this early an age. When she mopes she sends out vibes to her teammates the "lets give up" vibe. That is not a quality that will get you anywhere in life. We have discussed this and she realizes what it does to her self esteem and her teams.

Self esteem, such a powerful phrase and not so easily attainable for young people especially young girls and young women. It is as if your whole idea of success hinges on that phrase in these teen and tween years. I do know firsthand that being involved in sports has created a child more different than her two older siblings. She is more vocal, more confident and relates better to other kids. Not that I have shrinking violet, antisocial, doormat, daughters in my other two. Other things have created strengths in them that sports did not. I just feel sports has been beneficial to the social development of my youngest daughter. She also plays softball and baseball and is now setting her sites on basketball.

The possibilities are endless for my daughter and yours. It was not long ago that  playing football was a  dream in some little girls head. In the 70's while Title IX was being passed without reference to sports but rather education, Billie Jean King was breaking a barrier for women everywhere with her infamous "Battle of the Sexes" match. It was also at this time in my backyard that I was doing cartwheels like Nadia Comaneci and learning to throw a football like Roger Staubach. When I asked if I could play football with the boys I was told a resounding "NO!" My father broke my spirit and created a monster by telling me "no". It was from that day on that I vowed that if I ever had a daughter I would never say "no" to any traditional male sport or occupation, if they asked me if they could do it. Heck girls can pee standing up as far as I am concerned! So as fate would have it and a lot of prayers that I would not have a boy, I would not have a boy, no I would not have a boy to leave some machismo legacy for my father, I had 3 beautiful daughters! What was I thinking? When my oldest was little we put her in t-ball which she quickly lost interest in even before the first game. My middle daughter wrestled in fourth grade and though she did not win a lot of her matches, she won a very important meet match at the local highschool in front of hundreds of screaming kids all cheering her on. Her braids trailing down her back, she amazingly TKOed and pinned her opponent. I was so extremely proud  of her at that moment and she was proud of herself. After a neck injury and as the boys got stronger she lost interest. She still has that competitive heart. I would love to see her do MMA.

I respect all the trailblazers out there making it easier for the next generation of girls to reach for that brass ring and shatter more glass ceilings in the world of sports. Did you know that as early as 1722 a woman stepped in the boxing ring for the first time? Her name was Elizabeth Wilkins. Muhammad Ali's daughter Laila followed in her fathers footsteps. Two local MMA fighters introduced to martial arts by their father are sisters Zoila and Stephanie Frausto. Zoila has a record of  9 wins and 1 loss. I think that is awesome!  The first pro female pitcher has already happened in 1898, Lizzie Arlington pitched for the Philadelphia Reserves, and 12 year old Chelsea Baker with a 70 MPH fastball pitched her second perfect game in April of this year. Mildred "Babe" Didrikson Zaharias blazed the trails for Wilma Rudolph who blazed the trail for Marion Jones today. A local highschool standout Alicia Brown has a promising future in track. Janet Guthrie participated in the Indy 500 long before Danica Patrick. Holley Mangold, New York Jets lineman Nick Mangold's little sister played varsity football and earned her letter, she now pursues weightlifting and has lifted over 500 pounds. Katie Nhida a kicker for Division 1A team New Mexico scored two points in 2003. Learn more about women in sports, and Title IX at http://www.girls-explore.com/  and  http://womenssportsfoundation.org/. In the eighties and nineties provisions were made in Title IX that said female sports programs should be equal and proportionate to males sports programs in schools. Recently it has added community league sports to be inclusive in this ruling as well like the one my daughter plays in.

We lost our game today and though it was a crushing loss my daughter who plays both offense and defense played her heart out as did her teammates. I cannot wait for next year her last year in community league football, after that it will be junior high and then high school. Will she still have the passion for the game that she has now? I think she will and thats what inspires me to learn as much as I can about women in sports to show her that she too is a pioneer in a traditionally male sport. So CHEERS to all the girls out there that will be opening doors for the next generation of female athletes. You make me proud, you make me inspired, you lead the way! I wanna be like you when I grow up!