THE POLITICS OF BEING A GIRL IN LITTLE LEAGUE BASEBALL

This years Little League season has come and gone, and for my daughter it was not the season that was promised to her. I will say some of it is from her own behavior, bad attitude, letting her emotions show and get to her. The other part is what has been in existence since the first caveman bore a son and vowed his son would be best hunter, the alpha male, competition has never been the same since. Especially where grown men are concerned. You know the type, the kind who though they are told not to live through their male child do it anyway.
 Ever since our first foray into Little league three years ago it has been more about vicariously living through the chosen son or as it were grandson, and so to a lowly female child whose father was not present to be a positive force in her life, my daughter was often times overlooked and underestimated. It was an old softball coach who picked her up her first year in Little League, a coach set in his ways and unwilling to see past his grandson. It was an ok year. Her second year she was picked up by an old football coach and this seemed like it was going to be a great year, he used her as pitcher and they won their first few games that she played until she moved up to majors where she was just a player filling a void left on the team. A team that came in last place too many times to count. The coach when asking me about her ability heard nothing I said and told me he had ever only seen two girls in his lifetime that were "good" enough to play baseball with the boys. Still he was stuck with her and it became another instance of the chosen grandson and son to be the star...and he was good, I will admit that much. Yet she still did not get the opportunity boys younger than her had. On one of the rare occasions that she was on the mound she struck out one of the leagues best hitters, no one can take that from her. After that it was a loosing season and more time on the bench than play. She wanted off the team and wanted to go back in the draft. When we were told her old triple A coach was possibly taking the team over so we waited. When he did take over this beleaguered loosing team, she was hopeful as he told her he would give her the opportunity to play more, to pitch more, and to shine. When he asked what position she played last season the most the token star player said "bench". With all of the promises that were made to both players and parents it really just was another repeat of last year.What we were not prepared for was that he took this team so he would have an opportunity to take his son off of another team and give him more playing time on this one essentially building an opportunity for him to build his sons stats.
 At first it seemed as if she would get a fair shake until he started playing his son more often at pitcher. As she sat and watched lesser players get more opportunities it became evident to her and I that it was the same ole, same ole. Her attitude began to show, her frustration and anger lashed out in disrespect. When he called me about her I told him to bench her, she deserved it. Then I saw a side of this coach I had never seen before, he made a rude comment when she struck out, yet high fived the star player when he did the same..not wanting to bruise his fragile ego. He allowed this kid after missing a week of practice to come in and pitch in a must win game that we lost anyway. I confronted him about his comments and the fact that he favored players after he said he wouldn't, but if you look at the stats you will see his child led at bats with 46 while a player who didn't have the big ability others had batted 19 times this season. So much for the impartiality we were promised at the beginning of the season...something he cannot deny since its all in black and white on the stats. Since that confrontation our relationship, and his with my child has never been the same and never will be.  I personally feel that Dads who coach should not be allowed to coach their sons or daughters, which would lessen the nepotism that runs rampant on Little League fields everywhere.
To my daughters credit, individual credit I might add, she became the first female to hit two out of the park home runs ever in Madera Little League history. Those were and are wonderful accomplishments and we were happy with that until he benched her at her last ever Little League game in the second inning because she failed to get a ball and apparently gave him attitude, yet his child and others on the team who were unsportsmanlike to another team mate got to play and finish out their season. My daughter sat crying on the bench. She was hoping for another home run.
I sat disgusted and did not watch the last of the game and when we left I told her that it didn't matter, this year was like every other, what man wants their son to be out shined by a girl I told her?
I came home and wrote to one of the people on the board who was one of my daughters  biggest supporters and thanked them. They too were bewildered by what happened this year, especially since the teams standings really did not improve. I know its all about politics and good ole boy standards where girls are concerned in the game of baseball. Little League ball is way worse than high school, college and for that matter, professional ball in my opinion. Run by overzealous males whose beer guts have them unable to play anymore.What I do know, is, this has been a character builder for my daughter and in the future she will hopefully learn to control her emotions...know that the game is the game, and build on those principles she has learned from all of the great coaches who will and have crossed her path and even learn from the not so good coaches who will also unfortunately come life as she continues to play the sports she loves, baseball and tackle football.

Makenzee kissing her first home run ball

 Her dad getting a rare glimpse of his daughter playing at her best

 She is a great ballplayer and a great athlete with tons of potential, we talked about her opportunities in jr. high and beyond. How now, it may be a different playing field....time will tell but one things for sure this girl of mine will always be my shining star.

good morning football fans....is that a girl in that helmet?

It is a beautiful California classic day outside and I am gearing up to go to my daughters football game. I cannot wait to be out there cheering my girl on. This is my daughters 2nd year playing tackle football. Thats right tackle.... no she is not on some girls league. She plays with the boys. She plays in a local youth league ages 6 through 12. I will say that I think this is the best thing I could have ever allowed her to do. Not just because she ROCKS on the field, but because it has taught her important life lessons that she otherwise might not have learned. When she asked me I will admit I was concerned, but when she played it was just a thing of beauty to watch. Last year her peewee team went undefeated and won every game that they played. She learned the importance of teamwork, and how to be proud of her accomplishments. This year she is in the 5th and 6th grade division called the pups, and they have not won all of their games. This has taught her that you are not always going to be a winner and that loosing gracefully is something great players do. She has walked around on the sidelines mopey and irritated when something has not gone her way and man that really annoys me as a parent. I say that because I know my daughter has leadership qualities that you do not find in a lot of other kids at this early an age. When she mopes she sends out vibes to her teammates the "lets give up" vibe. That is not a quality that will get you anywhere in life. We have discussed this and she realizes what it does to her self esteem and her teams.

Self esteem, such a powerful phrase and not so easily attainable for young people especially young girls and young women. It is as if your whole idea of success hinges on that phrase in these teen and tween years. I do know firsthand that being involved in sports has created a child more different than her two older siblings. She is more vocal, more confident and relates better to other kids. Not that I have shrinking violet, antisocial, doormat, daughters in my other two. Other things have created strengths in them that sports did not. I just feel sports has been beneficial to the social development of my youngest daughter. She also plays softball and baseball and is now setting her sites on basketball.

The possibilities are endless for my daughter and yours. It was not long ago that  playing football was a  dream in some little girls head. In the 70's while Title IX was being passed without reference to sports but rather education, Billie Jean King was breaking a barrier for women everywhere with her infamous "Battle of the Sexes" match. It was also at this time in my backyard that I was doing cartwheels like Nadia Comaneci and learning to throw a football like Roger Staubach. When I asked if I could play football with the boys I was told a resounding "NO!" My father broke my spirit and created a monster by telling me "no". It was from that day on that I vowed that if I ever had a daughter I would never say "no" to any traditional male sport or occupation, if they asked me if they could do it. Heck girls can pee standing up as far as I am concerned! So as fate would have it and a lot of prayers that I would not have a boy, I would not have a boy, no I would not have a boy to leave some machismo legacy for my father, I had 3 beautiful daughters! What was I thinking? When my oldest was little we put her in t-ball which she quickly lost interest in even before the first game. My middle daughter wrestled in fourth grade and though she did not win a lot of her matches, she won a very important meet match at the local highschool in front of hundreds of screaming kids all cheering her on. Her braids trailing down her back, she amazingly TKOed and pinned her opponent. I was so extremely proud  of her at that moment and she was proud of herself. After a neck injury and as the boys got stronger she lost interest. She still has that competitive heart. I would love to see her do MMA.

I respect all the trailblazers out there making it easier for the next generation of girls to reach for that brass ring and shatter more glass ceilings in the world of sports. Did you know that as early as 1722 a woman stepped in the boxing ring for the first time? Her name was Elizabeth Wilkins. Muhammad Ali's daughter Laila followed in her fathers footsteps. Two local MMA fighters introduced to martial arts by their father are sisters Zoila and Stephanie Frausto. Zoila has a record of  9 wins and 1 loss. I think that is awesome!  The first pro female pitcher has already happened in 1898, Lizzie Arlington pitched for the Philadelphia Reserves, and 12 year old Chelsea Baker with a 70 MPH fastball pitched her second perfect game in April of this year. Mildred "Babe" Didrikson Zaharias blazed the trails for Wilma Rudolph who blazed the trail for Marion Jones today. A local highschool standout Alicia Brown has a promising future in track. Janet Guthrie participated in the Indy 500 long before Danica Patrick. Holley Mangold, New York Jets lineman Nick Mangold's little sister played varsity football and earned her letter, she now pursues weightlifting and has lifted over 500 pounds. Katie Nhida a kicker for Division 1A team New Mexico scored two points in 2003. Learn more about women in sports, and Title IX at http://www.girls-explore.com/  and  http://womenssportsfoundation.org/. In the eighties and nineties provisions were made in Title IX that said female sports programs should be equal and proportionate to males sports programs in schools. Recently it has added community league sports to be inclusive in this ruling as well like the one my daughter plays in.

We lost our game today and though it was a crushing loss my daughter who plays both offense and defense played her heart out as did her teammates. I cannot wait for next year her last year in community league football, after that it will be junior high and then high school. Will she still have the passion for the game that she has now? I think she will and thats what inspires me to learn as much as I can about women in sports to show her that she too is a pioneer in a traditionally male sport. So CHEERS to all the girls out there that will be opening doors for the next generation of female athletes. You make me proud, you make me inspired, you lead the way! I wanna be like you when I grow up!