Hey everyone thanks for following me one of my posts that is very important to me is on blogher.com you can read it at this link. http://www.blogher.com/i-had-ambitions-and-dreams-then-i-went-jail-domestic-violence?from=hot please retweet this and share it on facebook.com this post means so much to me and if one person can identify with it then what I and my family have been through was not in vain.
Wishing you all a safe and wonderful holiday, love the ones you are with because tomorrow is not promised.
Krisann
Monday, November 22, 2010
Saturday, November 20, 2010
DO YOU SUPPORT THE "AMERICAN DREAM"? JUST NOT FOR ILLEGAL MEXICAN IMMIGRANTS?
A headline in my local newspaper spurred this post.... "Fresno State University Student Body President Reveals He Is An Illegal Immigrant", yes it is true Mexicans go to college and do exceedingly well. Pedro Ramirez, 23 graduated from his highschool as a Valedictorian and went on to FSU. He is pursuing Poly Sci and Agriculture as his dual majors. And apparently he did all of this despite the fact that he is an illegal alien.....like being from Mexico means you only come to the US to work in the fields, or in a Mexican restaurant. I have mixed emotions about this situation, I am Mexican American. My Grandfather came here from the same town Pedros family came from, Jalisco Mexico. My grandfather came to the US and did so legally, by coming here to work and then sending for his wife and family later. He wanted to make a better life for his 10 children, and he did. He was a contractor for the Santa Fe Railroad and did fieldwork, all of the children except my Mother who was the youngest did this backbreaking work. Sons served in WWII and Korea, they were proud to be Americans. My Uncle Manuel died in the War. My Grandfather owned property and did well for being an uneducated man. All of my aunts and uncles spoke perfect English but my grandparents never learned it fluently. They were all successful productive members of society who went on to have their families. They were never on welfare, or received assistance.
I am feeling torn because while I applaud the efforts of Pedro to make a good and positive impact on the world it leaves me feeling, like maybe my daughter who is going to Community College may be passed over for something she, as a legal citizen is entitled to. In the state of California there is a law that allows illegal immigrants to receive aid for college. Pedro claims he did not know that he was an illegal alien until he began to apply for college. I can see that as viable. But when he did find out he continued to keep it a secret well into his college career until this week when an email was leaked regarding his status.
Do I blame illegal aliens for the state of the state in California, in debt up to our necks and no liferaft in sight? No I blame a bunk immigration system and the great governors of this fair state. You know the thing is I consider myself an American, not a Mexican American but just American. So many people that I run into in my daily life, Mexicans from Mexico inparticular think I should speak perfect Spanish because my last name is Gonzales. I speak "spanglish" enough to get by, what they don't know is that I was not taught Spanish because my mother who went to Catholic School was punished with a wrap of the ruler on the hands if she spoke Spanish. It is irritating that they complain about me when I am driving them on the bus, because they think I don't understand what they are saying but I do and it is only when I talk to them in my "spanglish" that they smile and call me Mija.....they don't like my country music, and they don't like that I don't wait for them if they are running for the bus, look I don't wait for anyone if they are not at their stop. Hey I rode the bus for 2 or 3 years and I got left plenty. My perception is that they feel that I think I am better than them or just don't get any of the struggles they have had. Funny human struggles are all the same, does not matter what your color is.
I guess some of my bias comes from being the victim of identity theft, 15 years ago the IRS came after me for 30,000 dollars in back taxes, because an illegal alien had bought my stolen birth certificate and Social Security card. This was pre-internet and it took me one year to prove to the IRS that this Krisann Gonzales was 9 months pregnant and in college, not working at some cannery in Georgia. I had actual pictures of the alleged Krisann Gonzales and signatures of "her" name, which were nothing like mine. So how is it that HR reps of these companies in question went ahead and accepted her proof of who she was without question? Sad but true big corporations and small alike do not care.
I am all for the American Dream, believe me. What I do not agree with is catering to a set group of people. If I went to China they would expect me to speak Chinese right? So why are forms in Spanish and the city signs (locally) have Spanish as the bolder print and English in smaller print. Why are kids in school learning in Spanish, that is why they are failing state mandated tests, these tests are made for English speakers! Sad but true my child who is part Mexican was being taught in Spanish when she first enterred kindergarten and did not know what the heck was going on, even sadder my friends daughter whose last name is Martin was put in a bilingual class and she has blonde hair and blue eyes... So are we catering to a certain group of people? I think so. I hate to sound racist or biggoted because I feel so strongly that if you come to America you should be made to follow the rules that everyone else who is a citizen has to follow. I have had many heated discussions with friends and family and my conclusion is always the same. Making a better life for yourself is an inherent right every man, woman, and child should be afforded. That is after all why our forefathers founded this great country. So what about the illegal aliens who are serving our country, should they be afforded the same benefits and rights as a citizen? So many stickey wickets here. This conversation will go on until the end of time. I will agree that this same group of people who a lot of people love to complain about actually help with the growth of the economy, they work and spend their money,especially locally. I guess the situation is as multifaceted as Pedro is. He obviously want to make a better way for himself, he is a supporter of the DREAM act go to this link to learn more http://www.dreamactivist.org/ this act will create the journey to citizenship for undocumented students and those who serve our country proudly. I can see by what I have read about him that he wants positive change to come from his story. I can also see that he will probably succeed and go on to a great role in politics or advocacy for people in general. I guess it is just the principal of legally being here that gets me. Thanks Grandparents for following your dreams to California.
I am feeling torn because while I applaud the efforts of Pedro to make a good and positive impact on the world it leaves me feeling, like maybe my daughter who is going to Community College may be passed over for something she, as a legal citizen is entitled to. In the state of California there is a law that allows illegal immigrants to receive aid for college. Pedro claims he did not know that he was an illegal alien until he began to apply for college. I can see that as viable. But when he did find out he continued to keep it a secret well into his college career until this week when an email was leaked regarding his status.
Do I blame illegal aliens for the state of the state in California, in debt up to our necks and no liferaft in sight? No I blame a bunk immigration system and the great governors of this fair state. You know the thing is I consider myself an American, not a Mexican American but just American. So many people that I run into in my daily life, Mexicans from Mexico inparticular think I should speak perfect Spanish because my last name is Gonzales. I speak "spanglish" enough to get by, what they don't know is that I was not taught Spanish because my mother who went to Catholic School was punished with a wrap of the ruler on the hands if she spoke Spanish. It is irritating that they complain about me when I am driving them on the bus, because they think I don't understand what they are saying but I do and it is only when I talk to them in my "spanglish" that they smile and call me Mija.....they don't like my country music, and they don't like that I don't wait for them if they are running for the bus, look I don't wait for anyone if they are not at their stop. Hey I rode the bus for 2 or 3 years and I got left plenty. My perception is that they feel that I think I am better than them or just don't get any of the struggles they have had. Funny human struggles are all the same, does not matter what your color is.
I guess some of my bias comes from being the victim of identity theft, 15 years ago the IRS came after me for 30,000 dollars in back taxes, because an illegal alien had bought my stolen birth certificate and Social Security card. This was pre-internet and it took me one year to prove to the IRS that this Krisann Gonzales was 9 months pregnant and in college, not working at some cannery in Georgia. I had actual pictures of the alleged Krisann Gonzales and signatures of "her" name, which were nothing like mine. So how is it that HR reps of these companies in question went ahead and accepted her proof of who she was without question? Sad but true big corporations and small alike do not care.
I am all for the American Dream, believe me. What I do not agree with is catering to a set group of people. If I went to China they would expect me to speak Chinese right? So why are forms in Spanish and the city signs (locally) have Spanish as the bolder print and English in smaller print. Why are kids in school learning in Spanish, that is why they are failing state mandated tests, these tests are made for English speakers! Sad but true my child who is part Mexican was being taught in Spanish when she first enterred kindergarten and did not know what the heck was going on, even sadder my friends daughter whose last name is Martin was put in a bilingual class and she has blonde hair and blue eyes... So are we catering to a certain group of people? I think so. I hate to sound racist or biggoted because I feel so strongly that if you come to America you should be made to follow the rules that everyone else who is a citizen has to follow. I have had many heated discussions with friends and family and my conclusion is always the same. Making a better life for yourself is an inherent right every man, woman, and child should be afforded. That is after all why our forefathers founded this great country. So what about the illegal aliens who are serving our country, should they be afforded the same benefits and rights as a citizen? So many stickey wickets here. This conversation will go on until the end of time. I will agree that this same group of people who a lot of people love to complain about actually help with the growth of the economy, they work and spend their money,especially locally. I guess the situation is as multifaceted as Pedro is. He obviously want to make a better way for himself, he is a supporter of the DREAM act go to this link to learn more http://www.dreamactivist.org/ this act will create the journey to citizenship for undocumented students and those who serve our country proudly. I can see by what I have read about him that he wants positive change to come from his story. I can also see that he will probably succeed and go on to a great role in politics or advocacy for people in general. I guess it is just the principal of legally being here that gets me. Thanks Grandparents for following your dreams to California.
Friday, November 19, 2010
Sweeeeet
My post "I HAD DREAMS AND AMBITIONS THEN I WENT TO JAIL FOR DOMESTIC VIOLENCE" will be syndicated on blogher.com and I am so very excited to get it out there. My life as I know it is not always what people want to read, but I can't be anything other than real. I am so grateful for my followers and I am grateful to blogher.com that they post some of my more provocotive pieces. LIFE TRULY IS SWEEEEET!
Monday, November 8, 2010
Are You A Religion Slut/Church Hopper?
Yeah I know I am gonna get some flack for my title, but something got me thinking about my faith and how when I am not practicing it regularly I ask if the religion I am practicing is the one for me. I was born to Catholic parents and really only my mother was a devout Catholic, my Father on the other hand dropped us off and picked us up. I guess he had some issues with God. As we got older my mother stopped going so regularly and the only one of the three of us kids to be confirmed was my older sister. I was only baptized and received my first communion. I remember watching "The Story of Bernadette" with my Mom and wanting to become a nun. I remember the nuns at the Catholic school I went to for a couple of years. They looked so clean and shiny. No makeup, porcelain skin, except for Sister Angelis who looked like the wicked witch in "The Wizard of Oz" except not green, but just as mean. Dressed in off white habits and the gold band on their ring finger. Yes I wanted to be a nun and so did my Mother when she was a young girl. She often told me that she had regrets that she didn't follow her heart.
I loved the ritual of being Catholic the beauty of it all. I disliked the sermons, that made me feel that no matter how many rosaries or prayers I said I would still be guilty of something in Gods eyes.
So as a teen and young adult I did not attend church, not even at Christmas or Easter. When I had my daughters they were all baptized in the Catholic church despite my protests, because it was what my Grandmother wanted. We did not go to church though. My Grandma prayed for us and my Mom always said, "I made my first 7 Sundays I know I will go to heaven....." She did, whether she made em or not my Mom was a saint! I learned about other religions, Bhuddism, Wicca, and even some Native American practices because my love is Native American. I thought about Atheism and evolution also. I also read the Bible occasionally and when I went through being seperated from my daughters I was reborn as a Christian even though I really did not feel completely in agreement with the Evangelistic Christian values my church had. What I did like was that the sermons spoke to me and that the God they represented to me was a loving and forgiving God. That to sing his praises was done so with joy and jubilation not solemness. I liked that they had lots of opportunites to fellowship and many groups to join. I read my Bible daily and even carried it with me a lot of the time. Its pages are dogeared and highlighted and writing is in the margin. I never had my own Bible until I bought one when I was 34. I went to Church for 4 years or so very regularly on Wednesdays and Sundays, my children liked it to some degree but it still was not the right fit for us. When I got my current job I made excuses. I have gone only a handful of times and have read my Bible only occassionally, but lately the pull to worship has been in me.
I question whether there is a church that is the right fit for me. I have thought about visiting on Sundays but something has always popped up. So, am I a religion slut hopping from church to church, faith to faith? What am I looking for to be filled up with? What am I not getting?
I had a lot of things make me question my faith in God. My mother suffering from Alzheimers is probably the single reason it is so hard for me to wrap my head around a loving God. My Mom did not deserve to suffer and neither did we her family. I was really pissed off at God for a long time. Boy and he knew it. Remnants still linger. My other issue is that I always hear, "Be faithful to the Lord and the Lord will be faithful to you." The thing is I know a lot of heathens who always seem to be doing way better than I am and they cannot be bothered to even praise the Lord for all of their blessings. I know I know I should lead by example and go to church and be thankful in His house.
I do have so many wonderful blessings to thank Him for. Just today I was worried about how I was going to get some extra money for my daughters field trip this week and her asking me for more to spend was like OUCH I dont have it. Low and behold I come home rather late today we all did, and there was a check from the PG and E Smart AC program that I signed up for when we moved here in July. A check for 25 dollars. Now that my friends is the Lord working in not so mysterious ways. Ask and you shall receive? I always say the Lord will answer us when we are open and ready to receive whatever it is we need, and that is not on our time but His.
So I am thinking of going to church on Sunday.
I loved the ritual of being Catholic the beauty of it all. I disliked the sermons, that made me feel that no matter how many rosaries or prayers I said I would still be guilty of something in Gods eyes.
So as a teen and young adult I did not attend church, not even at Christmas or Easter. When I had my daughters they were all baptized in the Catholic church despite my protests, because it was what my Grandmother wanted. We did not go to church though. My Grandma prayed for us and my Mom always said, "I made my first 7 Sundays I know I will go to heaven....." She did, whether she made em or not my Mom was a saint! I learned about other religions, Bhuddism, Wicca, and even some Native American practices because my love is Native American. I thought about Atheism and evolution also. I also read the Bible occasionally and when I went through being seperated from my daughters I was reborn as a Christian even though I really did not feel completely in agreement with the Evangelistic Christian values my church had. What I did like was that the sermons spoke to me and that the God they represented to me was a loving and forgiving God. That to sing his praises was done so with joy and jubilation not solemness. I liked that they had lots of opportunites to fellowship and many groups to join. I read my Bible daily and even carried it with me a lot of the time. Its pages are dogeared and highlighted and writing is in the margin. I never had my own Bible until I bought one when I was 34. I went to Church for 4 years or so very regularly on Wednesdays and Sundays, my children liked it to some degree but it still was not the right fit for us. When I got my current job I made excuses. I have gone only a handful of times and have read my Bible only occassionally, but lately the pull to worship has been in me.
I question whether there is a church that is the right fit for me. I have thought about visiting on Sundays but something has always popped up. So, am I a religion slut hopping from church to church, faith to faith? What am I looking for to be filled up with? What am I not getting?
I had a lot of things make me question my faith in God. My mother suffering from Alzheimers is probably the single reason it is so hard for me to wrap my head around a loving God. My Mom did not deserve to suffer and neither did we her family. I was really pissed off at God for a long time. Boy and he knew it. Remnants still linger. My other issue is that I always hear, "Be faithful to the Lord and the Lord will be faithful to you." The thing is I know a lot of heathens who always seem to be doing way better than I am and they cannot be bothered to even praise the Lord for all of their blessings. I know I know I should lead by example and go to church and be thankful in His house.
I do have so many wonderful blessings to thank Him for. Just today I was worried about how I was going to get some extra money for my daughters field trip this week and her asking me for more to spend was like OUCH I dont have it. Low and behold I come home rather late today we all did, and there was a check from the PG and E Smart AC program that I signed up for when we moved here in July. A check for 25 dollars. Now that my friends is the Lord working in not so mysterious ways. Ask and you shall receive? I always say the Lord will answer us when we are open and ready to receive whatever it is we need, and that is not on our time but His.
So I am thinking of going to church on Sunday.
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