UN AMERICAN MILITARY MOMS NURSING THEIR CHILDREN! THE RUIN OF THE NATION! GET THE F*#@ OVER IT ALREADY...

What is the military coming too first they let women in the ranks, then they let them breastfeed in uniform! How UN AMERICAN can you be? That is sarcasm friends...sarcasm. I love the photos of the Moms in uniform nursing their babies! I wish that I would have taken photos of my daughters when they were little nursing. Those were special times to me as a mother. I was able to nurse all 3 of my daughters and it was a beautiful thing. I think it created a bond that will last a lifetime, that is when my teens get out of their teen angst years. Breastfeeding for me was not only convenient, they slept in the same bed as I did, it gave me a sense of ultra closeness to my children. They still pile in my bed occasionally. While I am not saying that those Moms who choose not to breastfeed are not developing that same closeness with their child, its a different closeness. I hope I am not offending anyone. Moms are just special creatures equipped with all kinds of amazing abilities, nursing just happens to be one of them. I know moms that know its their child crying in a crowd of kids, or Moms who sense when something is wrong with their child, its Mom intuition a special sense every mom has.
Breastfeeding is a challenging proposition. Engorgement and sometimes blocked ducts, causing mastitis to name a couple, something I had with my last child and it was sooooo painful that I cried when she latched on. Once that passed it was again just my way of nourishing my child. It also allowed me to pass on vital antibodies and nutrients in the colostrum of the first few days of nursing. Two of my children have less allergies and had less ear infections. One of them was just unlucky to have my sensitive skin and allergies. If I had to do it all over again I definitely would!

I did not have a lactation specialist or any coach or any fancy schmancy person helping me. I did have the services of a nurse immediately after my first daughters birth and help and encouragement from nutritionists at the WIC program go to this link to learn more http://www.fns.usda.gov/wic/  A great program for nursing mothers and infants and toddlers.
If you choose to nurse their are a lot of resources out there. Find the one that works for you, and hang in there its not easy for everyone, but don't get discouraged.

Now to the soapbox part of my blog. So the Moms in the military uniforms breastfeeding their babies are getting a lot of flack, from the military and civilians. I find it really stupid to liken nursing your child to defecating in your uniform...which I am sure many military people have DONE, among other things. To regard it as sacrilege is nonsense and a total manifestation of MENS obsession with women's breasts. Men view women's breast as a sexual part of a women that serves only to pleasure them. While it is true stimulating the nipples can cause the release of oxytocin during sex, its also released during nursing. So now that I popped your bubble men, let me inform you oxytocin or the "cuddle hormone" helps a womens uterus get back into shape after child birth when they nurse. This also explains why Moms bond with their babies when they nurse.

So basically the Military Moms haters are guys or gals with tit complexes and really need to rethink what women's breasts are for. They were originally intended for nourishing a child. I mean DO we expect animals not to nurse? We dont get uncomfortable seeing a cow nurse a its calf because thats what we expect? Plus most men I know are not sexually attracted to cows....hmmm let me rephrase that and say animals. So why all the hullabaloo? Maybe it has to do with the fact that these Mommas were well, HOT... I mean if they were homely and wrapped in mounds of material who would have cared, or if they were featured in a magazine like National Geographic who would have cared? View the photos and complete story here http://moms.today.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/05/30/11955844-military-mom-proud-of-breast-feeding-in-uniform-despite-criticism?lite
Men and their obsession with breasts have taken this to a whole new level on my stupidity meter.
I for one am proud those gals serve our country and nurse their children, do I care if they wear a uniform while doing. Not one bit. The photos were shot for upcoming Breastfeeding awareness month, military Moms are still Moms. I just think that the people who are uncomfortable with the photos are probably getting feelings in the lower part of their uniforms.....now that's something to be ashamed of.

Raising teen daughters, ARGHHH I GAVE UP TONS OF SHOES AND MY TOY POODLE FOR THIS?

This is a volcano ready to blow...... I am not liking daughters choice in boyfriends. She will tell me who am I to talk, considering that her dad is who he is. The difference here is that I am 44 and have been with the same man for almost 20 years, whereas she has had a steady stream of not memorable boyfriends for the last 3 years, and that too is somehow going to be my fault. I take some responsibility for creating this little monster but most of the credit goes to my sister who put my firstborn on a pedestal and babied her as if she had come out of her own vagina. She had stable male influences in her life when her father wasn't there and the thing is when he is here, she is his little princess too. They are very much alike, good looking and funny and able to manipulate a situation to their benefit. She is also a lot like me volatile, demanding and prone to want to run the show. My whole issue is that current boyfriend is a lazy irresponsible leech. He sits in my house on my internet while I am at work and when I have come home in the afternoon to do a driveby he has been snoring in her room...must be from a hard day of doing absolutely nothing. Darn so let me tip toe through my house. When he is around she tends to be like him. It would not matter so much if she didn't live in my house, you can lay around all day as long as it is in your house.

Since she helps out with the rent she thinks that she has a say so, sorry not really.
When you are doing something productive going to school or working or making some positive changes then maybe, or maybe the day you have to wipe my ass that will happen. So I am at a point where the Volcano Woman that I am is going to blow, and let me tell you when I spew it ain't pretty, it ain't pretty at all. The last time we had a blow out she threatened to leave and take my grandson. Sorry no go amigo...

So instead of being a doormat where everyone can wipe their shit on me I am going to lay the law down and let it be known that the sheriff is in town.

Raising girls is such a battle of wills, I didn't know then that we would all be PMSing at the same time! I prayed hard for girls and now I am praying they just grow up and move out and leave me alone! Oh I am sure there will be a day when I want them all around me but that day is NOT today!

So why is it that when you try to give your kids advice they shrug and roll their eyes and only ever hear the negative things that you say or take what you say and twist it. Man I really need to apologize to mom and pop when we meet again. Because I am so feeling their pain when it comes to raising pain in the ass kids! I too knew it all I was riding the wave of having it better than my parents, in an entry level retail management job with a lot of potential, living with my parents at 24, great credit, lots of shoes and a toy poodle and no worries. Then I hit my rebellious streak and met my love and ran off with him. Oh the lust factor...  I was just a late bloomer whereas my daughter started rebelling at 15. Damn shoulda stuck to toy poodles. So maybe she will grow out of this phase where she thinks she needs to have a boy to define her. Just because someone is 18 or 19 does not make you a man..... nope you are what I call a "scrub", current boyfriend. Don't you just love that song from TLC.

The only joy that I can secretly have right now is knowing that he is not the one, because hopefully she will meet someone who is going to show her what a good man is all about, the kind of guy Carrie Underwood sings about in her latest song. Does that guy really exist? I think so and I hope my girls meet him in their lives. So in the meantime I have my say and piss her off into the arms of current boyfriend, but I look forward to the day when I see my daughter really love herself enough to know that she deserves to be treated like the little monster errr princess she is.


Just a footnote, I spewed and it was actually pretty good for me no one talked back, rather just sitting there thinking, "OH SHIT WE WERE WONDERING WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG!" ONE for team Mom ughh I mean Sheriff

Thanks Mom at Wal-Mart parking lot YOU made me feel NORMAL!

Yes the holiday season is officially upon us and I like 99% of the rest of the population have not even bought any gifts yet. I like 99 % of the rest of the population will go on a pilgrimage to the local Mecca uh I mean Wal-Mart. I hate going to there on any day of the year but in the days that precede Christmas I really hate it. I love shopping like most women do, just not with my kids. Things have changed from the days of them just throwing themselves on the floor having a fit because they could not have a toy or candy, at least then they were 3! You would think as they got older it would get easier and well, fun. Wrong with a capital WRONG. They can ruin any simple shopping trip with not just one but usually several embarrasing acts; be it farting in the store, or worse yet fighting in the store, or mother of all shopping sins talking back to  me, their Mom in the store......which is in public...... which therefore means I risk any physical or bodily injury that I may want to inflict on them getting picked up by a security camera.  Darn it all.

Oh I recently turned the tables on them on a stop at a local 99 cent store and they were very embarrassed. I accidentally tooted in an aisle then laughed uncontrollably and tooted several more times and I did the peepee dance. I yelled with my grandson as we walked down the aisles. We had a grand time. My 18 year old, his mom tried to hide in another aisle and my 15 and soon to be 11 year old scolded me "Man Mom do you have to be so LOUD?" That my fellow mothers is what I call IRONIC. How dare they be so upset by my behavior. They torture me every chance they get! Me embarrass them imagine the horror!

So today it was with secret joy that I sat in my darkened van texting on my phone as I waited for my daughters to come out of Wal-Mart. I volunteered to stay in the car with my grandson who had fallen asleep. I was not looking forward to pushing my way through the store for toilet paper, diapers, and chocolate. Not with the crapload of cars in the parking lot. As I am on my phone I see a well dressed Mom getting out of a big giant truck with her rugged husband and two sons close to my 15 and 11 year olds ages. She smooths her  long blonde hair and pulls down her rumpled coat, smoothing the fabric with her well manicured hands. She crosses her arm to secure her purse and like a drill sargeant says, "I am warning you, if you two embarrass me in any way once we get in the store I will pull your pants down and beat your asses!" She punctuates each word with a finger pointing that any Italian would be proud of. Now thats what I'm talking about! Joy rose up in my little Mommy heart which swelled with a knowingness and admiration for this Mom, and I grimaced like the Grinch! She marched off to take the arm of said boys father and I suspect had a great time shopping! At least I like to think that it was a carefree time and the boys behaved perfectly.

I wanted to roll my window down and say in solidarity, "YOU ROCK! THANKS FOR MAKING ME FEEL NORMAL!" Alas my lil man was asleep and I did not want to wake him. So I sat shaking my head yes and secretly feeling the Christmas Joy that she had given me. Happy Holidays and happy shopping! With or without the kids!

I AM AN AUTHORITY ON EVERYTHING, AREN'T MOST WOMEN?

My boss made a remark to me the other day, and I have been pondering it quite a bit. He (jokingly?) called me an "authority on everything". That comment was like a burr stuck on my sock, just rubbing me the wrong way! I later that day asked him how he knew that I was just that? He said because I let everyone know everyday. Now at this point I could have made a seriously rude comment to him that could have crossed the insubordination line but I chose to smile and say, "I am so glad that someone around here is finally acknowledging that I am an authority on everything!" I walked off with a smile on my face and some pep in my step. He guffawed and his assistant manager giggled. I really meant it when I said that to him, just as I am sure he meant it when he made that comment to me. Later that day I told my kids what he had said and I told them my quick thinking retort. They thought he was a dick. I told a dear longtime friend and she said some men in positions of power are usually threatened by a confident woman. Yah I know this.  I have been sitting on this all weekend. Do I come off as a know it all? Its kind of an odd thought I suppose but I am a very confident somewhat articulate woman. I was not always this way.

It developed out of my need to survive. I survived being a middle child, not being good enough in my fathers eyes because after all I was not the son he wanted, he told me this in an intense argument we had when I was sixteen. I have survived the ridicule of bullies as a young blossoming woman. I survived the terrible preteen and teen years when I thought I was not pretty enough or popular enought to fit in. I survived highschool. I survived my first heartbreak. I survived getting fired from one of my first jobs. I survived getting pregnant out of wedlock. I survived my loves drug addiction and infidelities and subsequently I survived the domestic violence cycle that I became addicted to. I survived going to jail when I stabbed my love in one of our domestic incidents. I survived when I had to admit that I was responsible for my own part in the life I had lived to that point. I survived my mothers illness with Alzheimers and her death during this time. I survived being away from my three lovelies when I fought to get reunified with them. I survived getting them back. I survived being homeless and hungry. I survived my oldest lovelie's teen years, and I survived when she told me that she was pregnant. I survived when I quit jobs with no others lined up. I survived giving my fathers eulogy after he refused to see me before his death. I have survived all of the let downs and disappointments and upsets that I have caused or been a part of in my life. I am still a work in progress and as I like to say I am scaling the Great Wall of Motherhood and Gammahood and Womanhood. I am who I am.

My friends think I am this "strong" woman... its so ironic that they don't see me in my quiet alone times. Times when some memory will flash and make me feel less then, and alone and forgotten and unimportant in the scheme of things. I survive those times too.

Do all of these things make me an "authority". Yes, they do. I am an authority on my life and the things I have been through that have brought me to this place of enlightenment and self awareness that maybe others do not or ever will, achieve. How sad for those that can never look at all of the failings they have had and realize that there is a reason they are where they are. Choice, what a great word. We can choose to sit in our heap of misery or we can choose to be an "authority". I like the wisdom I have accumulated in my life so far.
 I cannot wait to get some more!