YEAH I'M TALKING TO YOU! DON'T ACT LIKE YOU CAN'T HEAR ME!

i make no excuses about who i am! love me, hate me, just read me!

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Sharing your cleavage on Facebook is inappropriate if you are over 40.....ahhh bite me!

So at what age are we supposed to stop being sexy? When is it that a woman has to watch for the type of profile picture we put on our Facebook page. Just a thought today as a friend of a friend had someone report her profile picture as inappropriate, yet I myself have seen the offending picture and it is quite harmless! So a lil cleavage shows and its not much by the way...its a tasteful picture of a woman who is also a MOM, a single mom at that, who just turned 40 and looks and feels great about who she is. So whats wrong with being sexy over 40....well shit then I better go hide my cleavage away since I am not only a mom but a granny too!

I am 45 and feel that I am way more sexier now than I ever was before...even if I have grandma arms and some extra fluffiness. I'm pretty confident and feel good about myself most of the time. Then there are days like today where I look and feel like a frumpy granny...my roots have not been done, my skin is showing sun spots, I'm in jammy pants and a grease stained tee and heaven forbid my most mortal frump I have dreaded swapmeet feet! There is nothing that takes away more from a pretty woman who looks great and is dressed well, than when she has on sandals or flipflops and her feet look like she walked through the swapmeet. You know you have seen them,dry cracked and craggy heels, polish chipping on overgrown toenails. Let me just add this footnote bwaaahhaahahh! I love my feet, I have a big foot fetish and love beautifully pedicured feet! I have terribly neglected them for 4 weeks now and they are horrid it took a lot out of me to post the following pics but hey if you've seen me at my worst then you will appreciate me at my best!Wow writing that makes me want to go dye my roots and give myself a pedi! So yeah today is not my sexiest day.






But what if it was, what if I took this beautiful picture and I wanted to share with the world how wonderful I looked in that minute. What if I wanted to let the world know that damn for a 45 year old grandma I look pretty damned good. What if I felt confident and great about myself? What if I wanted to see comments from my friends that said "You Look Mahvelous" or "SEXY MAMA", what if a friends friend saw it and decided that I, as a mother of 3 daughters and grandma to one spirited boy had no business showing you my cleavage, or acting that way at all! What the fuck people! Worry about yourselves...if you don't like my cleavage then don't look at it but don't hate me because I feel good about myself. Maybe tomorrow I won't feel so confident, maybe tomorrow I will stand in the mirror and feel like I am too fat, too ugly and too old to be SEXY. I don't need to let some idiot that I don't even know give me a complex, because damn it took me 40 plus years to love myself. So sorry if you have not gotten there yet! SEXINESS is only accumulated over time by women who have earned the right to their self esteem. If you have ever hated your looks you will understand that phrase...there is no man or no other person that I will allow to define me as a woman....I earned that after having three babies, 1 miscarriage, 1 tubal pregnancy, gallstone surgery, gaining 40 pounds and getting my prematurely grey hair, living through domestic violence and homelessness, surviving my loves addiction, yup for sure I earned the right to feel good about who I am today!




So let me challenge all you NOT UR TYPICAL Glammas and single Mamas out there to love yourself and post the picture of yourself you think you look and felt the most beautiful in... do it already you have earned the right to share your sexiness...this ones for you Denise!

Thursday, September 1, 2011

How PCOS & Menstruation Almost Held My Football Playing Daughter Hostage...

Well many changes happening in the last few weeks that I have not really focused on working on my blog...but here it is football season....and if you follow me you know that my youngest daughter plays football. I am so amazed by this kid o mine! I am proud of her for many reasons. Football season almost did not happen this year. About 2 months ago my daughter who is 11 was sick for about three days with stomach pain, laying in bed, refusing to eat, no tv, no computer, nothing could get her out of bed not even the year end party for the Little League Minors team she was on before being called up to a Majors team. I thought it was the stomach flu. By the third day I decided to take her into the doctor because I began to worry she had appendicitis. So off we went to the emergency room. We spent hours, waiting for lab results which led the doctor to order more tests, her blood work was a little off and the doctor thought it may be appendicitis also. He ordered a lower GI MRI which involves the colon, a balloon and dye...needless to say my daughter was begging me not to let them do this test. I reassured her and told her it was important that this test needed to be done to see if she in fact had appendicitis. She relented and actually did better than some grown men would do. We waited and waited some more and finally when we were put in a room the doctor came in and gave us her diagnosis. PCOS or polycystic ovarian syndrome. He said she had rather large cysts on her ovaries, cysts that form as the egg is released to the fallopian tube. Instead of being released the egg stays in the follicle creating cysts, when these cysts rupture or grow they cause severe pain. This was the reason for her pain.

He handed me a sheet with some information, and basically sent me on my way.....telling her to expect her period soon. With that news she sat in a funk for a while thinking her "thingy" as she called it, was going to arrive and ruin her life as she knew it...playing baseball with the boys....playing football with the boys....hanging out being one of the boys. I was just thankful it was summer and prayed if she did get her "thingy" that it would be during summer break. She had withered, the spark absent from her after this diagnosis.

As I learned more about PCOS I learned that she may never menstruate, that diabetes was highly likely as the body builds insulin resistance over time. I learned that testosterone is at higher levels in girls and women with PCOS, that body fat distribution is more masculine and that this is probably why it has been harder for her to loose weight. I also learned that facial hair, hair loss and acne can occur. I learned that she may never get a period or that she could have problems with fertility. I realized that PCOS had probably been at work in her body for the last few years, had PCOS sabotaged her or enhanced her athletic ability?

I began to understand why my youngest lovee was who she was. My tomboy, sportsnut, laidback go with the flow, likeable, wonderful kid. A girl who could throw a baseball so hard that when it hit her coaches foot his big toenail fell off the next day! A girl who plays tackle football with the boys and who was not just good at it but a stand out. A girl who is known by all the local youth sports teams and coaches for her talent. A girl who was and is admired by little girls and big girls alike.

So when my lovee announced she did not want to play football on the heels of this diagnosis my heart was heavy and I was sad... Menstruation had taken another female hostage. I was probably sad for selfish reasons because as I have said before my kid is just that dang good! I love to watch her play on the offensive and defensive lines smashing them boys! I had the registration papers for football and even asked her more than once. Hmmmphh, there I sat resigned that she would not play this year, she said maybe next year. I was content, at least we still had baseball, right? A few weeks passed and still no arrival of the "thingy". I took her to her pediatrician and I got a referral to the Endocrinology and Diabetes Clinic at Childrens Hospital in Madera, a wonderful hospital that we are so lucky to live close to. I had to really press the doctor for a special referral. But Mamabear gets what Mamabear wants when it comes to her cubs. My girl was returning out of her slump...blossoming into the girl she once was.

I had read in the paper about the last bit of signups and still held out hope. I had planned to go to college night classes since she was not going to play and it was when her sister told me that she had mentioned playing again but that she knew I was doing something. That something being school. So I asked her if she wanted to play? She sheepishly said "Well I wanted too...but", I stopped her in mid sentence and said OK. So I raised the money for her $75.00 registration fee by selling BBQ rib dinners and the next day, the last day of sign ups we made it down to the park to sign her up.





Today was her first game and she took the field as a co-captain with two of her team mates and I was beaming with pride. As fate would have it we just moved into a house across from the high school stadium where ironically games are being played this year instead of at the neighboring Jr. High. So I made this great sign to greet everyone especially the team they were going to play today. I sat in the stands and cheered her in this terrible miserable heat and my chest was filled with pride as I watched my three year old grandson cheer her on! I lost my voice and sweated like a pig as I watched her break from the triple teaming the other team was imposing on her, because lets face it two ole regular boys were't gonna take her down, as she broke and made a run for the quarterback pressuring him he threw it right into the hands of her team mate. BEAUTIFUL! Nope PCOS or the "thingy" will not hold this baseball, tackle football playing girl o mine hostage again....The game was a tie and thats ok we will take that, it was a hardfought game, but you better be ready next time boys!

My daughter Maks journey into treatment for PCOS.....

Today is the first day of PCOS Awareness day and the first day of my 11 year old daughters ongoing treatment for PCOS.....hope you follow our journey!


Well today was a long day. I took my daughter Mak to her first appointment with the endocrinologist at Children's Hospital. I am feeling quite good about her being treated there. We have a barrage of tests, blood work and ultrasounds ahead of us. I am glad that I was insistent and advocated for my child to be placed in the clinics care. It is called the Diabetes and Endocrinology clinic. Though Mak does not have diabetes, the likelihood that she develop it is high. Not only due to heredity but also because PCOS or polycystic ovarian syndrome creates insulin resistance in the body. Insulin resistance leads to diabetes.







We learned that PCOS can be treated to lessen the symptoms with metaformin, a drug used to treat diabetes. We learned diet and excercise are key to helping PCOS symptoms lessen. So sports will definitely continue for Mak. We spoke to our endocrinologist at length today which reassured me that Mak getting diagnosed early was  a blessing for us. The earlier you diagnose it the more treatable the symptoms are!
Seems we will conquer this PCOS and not let it run her life! She is such a great wonderful kid who has a lot of potential. I would only hope that others who suffer from this advocate for themselves, be insistent find the right doctor or physician. PCOS was not that diagnosable 20 years ago but great strides have been made in this field.
So it is with hope and positivity that I write this post tonight that my daughter will not be prisoner to PCOS that she will have wonderful treatment and a great outcome! From time to time I will update you on her treatment and pass along any information we learn...PCOS is so common yet not talked about often or even considered in girls my daughters age, which is 11. Usually sufferers are not diagnosed until they are in their late twenties, or thirties. To learn more about PCOS please visit these links http://www.soulcysters.net/   or join this Facebook support group https://www.facebook.com/#!/pcosfight.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

If only life had the EASY button...

Well lots of changes going on in the house and have not had much downtime to blog...feeling the blog withdrawals right now. We are in the process of moving and getting ready for school. Football practice has started for my daughter and my other daughter is ready to get her license. Change is coming and its all for a good cause... good opportunities and positive outcomes. That along with work issues have been consuming my day so don't think I have forgotten you I am still here. I am researching info for a post on childhood obesity in California so stay tuned and thanks for following me! Once everything calms down and we are in the new place it will all be much smoother! Now to find the EASY button..where is it?