16 is an age not a homocide statisitc...how youth violence has affected MY COMMUNITY...

I'm awake, up on a beautiful Saturday morning to the drone of fans, yes, it is already that hot. My girls and grandson sleeping in, the house is quiet. I think of how grateful I am that they are here asleep and safe in bed. I never really gave a second thought to letting them go down to the park, or go hang out with their friends or even worried about the two block walk to school for my highschooler. Now I am going to make sure their phones are paid even though I really cannot afford it and that I know what they are doing every second of the day. This little town is not so safe as I thought it was. A young man lost his life this week, a 16 year old boy killed by a 15 year old boy at 2:30 in the afternoon on a school day. I have a hard time wrapping my head around that. I like everyone else who heard about it sat and wondered if it was someone we knew, my daughter is 16 also. Was it someone she had grown up with? I know some were calling their family members to be reassured that it was not anyone they were related to. It was on Facebook by 6 pm that day, the young man's name was Jesse Espinoza. My daughter was not sure if she knew him, but it did not matter to her because the mere fact that someone her age had died because of "gang violence" was what made his death a tragedy.
I don't want to write about the details of how Jesse lost his life, I want to write about the fact that he was someones son. I pray that his family draws strength from their faith and the community. His friends and family say he was a good kid, always smiling, joking around. The people in this town care and have come together because we are tired of hearing that our young people are becoming statistics.
Statistics say 16 youths die every day to homocide. Statistics that reflect the rise of gang violence in our sleepy ag town, Madera, California. A Facebook page was set up the following day by a pair of young people who want to see change. The group is called "STOP GANG VIOLENCE", and has grown to 914 invites or added people....in two days! Now I know some people will say, "Yeah you are living in lala land... gangs will always be around." And while that is true, people don't need to accept it or tolerate it. The simple fact is that these were young men who had their whole lives ahead of them.That is what really upsets me. Everyone involved was under 18. What are our kids thinking when they are walking the streets with guns? The media is highlighting the fact that these boys all had "gang affiliation", and also that they were in a continuation school, because they had been expelled from the district. I don't want to make that the focus here, I want to make the fact that they were kids the focus..kids who maybe got into trouble, made some bad choices for whatever reason, but they were kids.
People have posted comments on Facebook that it starts in the home, and I believe that, but I also know that kids will do what they want to do. It is a different time from when I grew up in the 70's and 80's. Kids have a lot coming at them today. They want to feel important. As the mom of three daughters I have been raising pretty much alone for the last 20 years, I have had to work and take care of them. I know I can't be everpresent in their daily lives. My kids have made some decisions that have changed their lives, but I am and always have been here for them. Parents are not always the problem. Peers have a heavy influence on the choices teens make today. I have been dealing with just that with one of my children.
In 2010 the homicide rate for people aged 10-24 in Madera County was 11.39 per 100,000 residents according to this link http://www.modbee.com/2012/01/15/2027374/youth-violence-plagues-the-state.html Thousands of teens have been in and out of the Department of Juvenile Justice's CYA in the state of California, most of them for violent crimes, yet the DJJ like every other intstitution has faced severe cuts. In 1997 the DJJ had 10,000 residents compared to the 1279 residents in a 6 month period in 2010 according to this link http://www.modbee.com/2012/01/15/2027374/youth-violence-plagues-the-state.html an informative paper written about the DJJ and CYA. Teens have only gotten more violent. 20 percent of homicides are gang related in 88 large cities according to CDC http://www.cdc.gov/ViolencePrevention/youthviolence/gang_affiliation.html, yet the average number of youths in gangs varies according to certain factors,7% to 26%, these factors which include parental monitering, coping skills, reducing delinquency, and reducing drug and alcohol use would decrease a childs chances of becoming involved in gangs. The thing that I see missing is peer pressure.....I know in the final analysis what I have taught my children is important, that it is at the crux of their moral compass, but I also know from firsthand experience that teens are heavily influenced by outside factors.
In order to make a difference our community has got to band together, be willing to work with local law enforcement agencies, communicate with our young people, open a dialogue that encourages everyone to be positively involved. If one child listens and has hope for their future then what are we waiting for? The CDC has programs to reduce youth violence  http://www.safeyouth.gov/Pages/Home.aspx to learn more about STRYVE view the video and go to the link above.

I do know that I, like Louis and Gloria Hardesty, the Facebook group founders of STOP GANG VIOLENCE https://www.facebook.com/#!/groups/363564637012675/ want to see something positive come out of this tragedy. I hope that we can make STRYVE  a local campaign. I want to know that my kids can walk to the store or school or go hang out with their friends and that my community is watching them. It breaks my heart to even write about this, but fear is a big motivator, I don't want to be afraid for my kids and grandson anymore, I want to be hopeful.When you are sixteen you should be learning to drive a car, thinking about the trivial things like what to wear to school, texting your friends or even more important things like planning your future, what school to go to, not thinking, "Will I be a homocide statisitic?"

WHEN A CAT IS A BETTER MOTHER THAN A HUMAN, MY THOUGHTS ON THE UPCOMING CASEY ANTHONY MURDER TRIAL

The Casey Anthony murder trial is a week away, almost three years after the disappearance of her young daughter Caylee Anthony, she will be tried in her murder. I have been watching some of the shows that are leading up to the trial itself. I only knew vague information about the case until just recently and was not really following it. When I did watch a news show recently it focused on the fact that the trial would be set in another county and that jury selection was going to be a big focus in this high profile case. The show selected a jury and and a case was presented to them, more than half of the people on the jury voted for acquittal of Casey Anthony. This is because of the lack of physical evidence in this case. I am saddened and hope that a verdict will not be for acquittal, but rather I hope one of guilty will be found. It is a very hard case for both the prosecution and the defense to present, but one nonetheless that will focus on the fact that Caylee Anthony just two at the time of her disappearance was murdered and tossed into a remote area like yesterdays trash. Casey Anthony did not report her child missing for 31 days, and only after her mother confronted her about her vehicle that she had abandoned did she concoct a story about Caylee being left with a non-existent nanny. Casey Anthony partied it up like any 22 year old would at that age. Her behavior would not be so questionable except for the fact that her daughter was missing.
Casey was a young mother obviously, one probably overwhelmed with being a single parent. Despite all of the help you have or support being a parent at any age is not an easy thing let alone being a single parent. At the heart of my post tonight is the fact that I think a lot of parents don't realize their breaking point. Don't mistake my post as having any sympathy for a person like Casey Anthony. I don't have any for her. I believe wholeheartedly she killed her child and went on living as if she never even existed. I believe she is a sick individual. What I am saying is that a lot of people do not know how to ask for help when they need it. If only she had given custody to her parents or had asked for help so she could get her life together then maybe Caylee would still be alive.
We all at times as parents have had to walk away from our children, who have pushed us to a point that we don't even recognize the person we had become. Whether through anger or frustration or an inability to cope we have yelled when it was unnecessary or spanked, or said something we regretted. If you tell me you have never done any of those things than great, you must be the patron saint of parenting, and I really don't believe you. What I do believe is that a damned cat can be a better parent than a human being can. Remember Scarlett the cat that saved her five kittens from a burning building? Being selfless is not just a human trait. Parenting is thee hardest job in the world! We are not taught, it is a learn on the job process. Some of us are better learners than others. If you are a young parent or single, or both, then it is doubly worse. I am not making excuses here, I am saying that some people are not capable of recognizing the warning sign telling them what they are about to do is wrong. They just do it and then later say they did not know what they were doing.
What made Casey Anthony lose it? I see single young mothers every day who are on the verge and the scariest thing is they don't even know it. What I want this post to leave you with is a resource. Someone who is readily available when you think you are at your limit, Parents Anonymous is a national group with local chapters  http://www.parentsanonymous.org/ and http://www.nationalparenthelpline.org/ or call the National Parent Helpline at 1-855-427-2736. Just because you can have a child does not mean you know the first thing about being a parent, being a better parent means you know when to ask for help.